


Seventh Year

by IfSnowBazWereReal



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Character turning into werewolf, Help, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Magic, Magicians, Oblivious Simon Snow, POV Penelope Bunce, POV Simon Snow, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, POV the Mage, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow Friendship, Powerful Mages, Protective Simon Snow, Simon Snow is Gay for Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, SnowBaz, The Mage (Simon Snow) is an Asshole, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Watford (Simon Snow), Watford Seventh Year, Werewolves, not Harry Potter, watford school of magicks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IfSnowBazWereReal/pseuds/IfSnowBazWereReal
Summary: When the Mage let the vampires into Watford School of Magicks to kill Basilton's mother, Headmistress Pitch, he also let a werewolf in aswell....We know where Baz and his mother are, but what about Simon?
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	1. The Backstory

**Author's Note:**

> This FIC/AU or whatever you want to call it, is for @ebb_the_goatherd on instagram. Go check her profile out and make sure you follow her! @ebb_the_goatherd, I love you so much and I hope you love this FIC/AU!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The horrible backstory of Lucy Sailsbury's death. Simon remembers it perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very gruesome, so please, proceed with caution. This is a death, so don't expect anything happy. LOSTS OF ANGST!

**Simon**

Watford has always been my home. Partly because I used to live here with my mother when she was still alive, partly because I _do_ live here for a big part of the year, and partly because I've grown up knowing magic and Watford as my home. As my school. And as something I would love to throw away. People ask why I hate Watford so much. It's not that I hate Watford School of Magicks, it's that I hate the headmaster. Well, temporary headmaster. Which is the Mage. And the Mage is also my shitty father. And I hate him. People ask why I hate him. That shouldn't be a question that anybody should ask. They should just _know_. He killed my mother. He killed Baz's mother- The previous headmistress. And he fucking killed to amazingly powerful women. Just like that! The two Ladies of Magick. Gone. In one blow. It was in the Magickal Record and we studied it last year. I barely even passed the unit. Learning about how your mother died by your father letting a werewolf into the school and trying to save her only son is not something that I can easily stomach. I even wonder how Baz got through that whole unit. His mother was the main focus. Alongside the Mage. 

I don’t understand why the Mage is headmaster at Watford. Temporary headmaster. Whatever that means right now. But still! He was framed for murder! My mother’s murder! I guess being the head of the Coven and being _the Mage_ , let him have a little power over the situation. He defended himself by saying _he_ didn’t kill Natasha Pitch, but the vampires did. What kind of excuse is that? _He’s_ the one who let them in! He’s the one who let that werewolf into my mother’s office. He’s the one who was responsible! And he didn’t even go to Magickal Prison for his actions. What kind of Coven decides that? Letting a dangerous person protect a school or children and adults. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It happened days before the autumn term began August 12, 2002. My mother was in her office late, trying to finish work before the term started and I was playing with a red, rubber ball that I had found under her desk. I have a vague memory of the morning before the attack, but once the werewolf kicked down the door, it’s all clear as glass. I didn’t realise how late it must have been, since werewolves only transform into their werewolf form at night. On a full moon.  
I remember my mother typing at her laptop, humming a tune I was well familiar with. She was bouncing her knee and bobbing her head, her curly blond hair swaying. I remember hearing a scream, a scream that was coming from the nursery, which I learned after. My mother stood once she heard the scream, grabbing her wand. Before she could spell me into my little room she had made for me, a werewolf kicked down the door. Breathing heavily and lunging for my mother. I heard her cry out when it clawed at her sides and I remember all the blood that came with it. I was sitting on the floor, crying, screaming, watching my mother being ripped apart by a monster before my eyes. She was nearly dead when the werewolf caught sight of me, crying with a ball in my lap. 

I heard her yell, “No! Simon!” She spat out a spell once the werewolve's claw pierced my right knee. I felt it digging in deeper and I remember screaming for my mother, she cast, **_“let your light shine!”_ **. The werewolf disappeared from in front of me, and the last thing I remember was my mother’s dead, bloody body lying in a pool of her own blood before I passed out.

I woke up in Natasha Pitch’s headquarters the day after, Baz laying beside me. I remember seeing his father and his aunt casting any healing spells on him as he slept, and I remember Ebb the goatherd casting spells on my wound as I lay awake, thinking about my mother. 

An investigation was taking place right when the term bagan, there were emergency Coven meetings every day, continuing into the first two weeks of school. The Coven tracked down some of the vampires who raided the school 4 years after and found out that the Mage was behind all this. He was taken into custody and was fined and fortune, but he didn’t go to magickal prison. He was put under house arrest with strict orders. He wasn’t allowed to cast any spells other than simple spells that didn’t take up much of his magic, which was being tracked. He wasn’t to have any communications with anyone, other than the Coven, if need be, and me. When I found out what the Mage had done to my mother, I was furious and I didn’t talk to anyone for almost a whole year.

I was living with Ebb at the time, so I was with the goats or I was wandering the school. I looked for the nursery and I paced the Wavering Wood. I never went by the Weeping Tower, because that was the place my mother died, but I knew, once I was old enough to attend Watford, I would be in the Tower four times every day, for meals and tea time. I knew Watford like a shepherd knows his sheep. I explored every day that I wasn’t training with Ebb. She taught me spells and read about Watford’s history. She said I should know about magic since I am magic. She gave me my mother’s wand on my 11th birthday (Training started the week after). She said she wanted me to have it. Ebb knew my mother, and she said that my mum was a Lady of Magick. Like Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch’s mum. Both of them were the most powerful women in the History of Magick. Both in the Record and both well-known mothers with two son’s who are to be enemies. 

Ebb told me about her family. About my family. About the Mage. About me. There wasn’t much to tell I think. Ebb said I was a very powerful child before my mother’s death, full of energy and she said that I was the brightest child she had ever seen; just like my mother, she said. I would laugh and give smiles to everyone. That whenever I smiled at someone angry or sad, they would be happy and they would forget all their sorrows. Everyone thought I was charmed. After my mother’s death, Ebb said she felt my power thin, she said everyone could feel it. That year, four of her sheep died, and I knew it was my fault. I was going to be the most powerful magician, but after August 12 2002, I was broken. And my power got diluted. 

I tried to be happy, I tried so hard, and it worked for a bit. Ebb said she could feel the old happiness coming back. And that made me happy. After 3 years, I was 8 years old and I had a little more magic in me. I heard Ebb cast a small spell once, so when she was busy and didn’t have her staff, I grabbed it and cast **_“You’re getting warmer!”_ ** I ended up starting a small fire on the grass, just outside her barn. When Ebb found out she was mad at me for stealing her instrument and doing magic without anyone knowing. She said to never use someone else’s magickal instrument, for you never know how it will respond. I knew Ebb was happy though, even if she was close to tears.

“Aunty Ebb?” I asked her. I always called her Aunty Ebb.

“Yes Simon?” She said sniffing at me. 

“Are you happy that I cast a spell like you?” I gave the baby goat a scratch behind the ear. Ebb said they were called kids. I laughed at that.

“I am, Simon.” She said nodding. “The sooner you learn magic, the easier it will be. But it was dangerous, and you could have gotten hurt, dear.” She sniffed again so I grabbed her hand. “Don’t do it again okay Simon? You have eight whole years to learn magic when you’re old enough.” She smiled and patted my head. I smiled and jumped up, racing inside the barn. 

When I was 9, I was told that the Mage was my father. I was pretty much broken after that. But once again, Ebb helped me. She held me and let me cry on her shoulder. She cried too when one of the Coven members came to us with the news. He said that they had to run tests on Davey, and they found out that he was my biological father. They said that he would be the temporary headmaster until further notice.  
I was too stunned to do anything that whole week. But once I recovered, I was back to my happy self, still not the powerhouse I once was, but I was happy and I was okay.


	2. Plagued by the same Nightmare (kind of)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first two weeks of school are always hard. It's a constant reminder of the loss of the two Lady's of Magick and Simon and Baz just aren't in the mood this year... or any year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter (SoRrY). I had no idea how this chapter was going to turn out. I started it so many times and none of them seemed right. I like this one the best. Everything will be in full swing after this! i did put indents in my paragraphs b/c i wanted to >:) Simon's POV is pretty short. Please excuse my typos :)
> 
> xo - IfSnowBazWereReal <3

**Simon  
**

I think I’m happy that I'm not the most powerful magician anymore. I am still the Chosen One. I wish I wasn’t. I think people have forgotten about the Chosen One and started focusing more on Basilton Grimm-Pitch, because he’s the most powerful magician in our realm now. But he has magic one can dream of, not like how mine used to be. Way too overpowering. Flowing out of me when I would have a temper tantrum as a baby. I guess I’m happy to not have all the spotlight. I still am in the spotlight of course. Mages are still curious if the rest of my power will come back. But it’s been 9 years since I was getting my powers back, little by little, and I don’t think it’ll come back. It hasn’t been for six years. I don’t think it’ll start again now. 

Anyways, everyone pays more attention to Baz now; he’s from the richest magical family, he smart as fuck, he plays football like a professional, like he should be on Liverpool’s team, he’s a perfect git, he’s technically the Mage’s enemy; the Old families. Did I mention he’s perfect and ruthless and a fucking prat. 

He’s a complete wanker around me. I knew he would be when I first came to Watford. I knew he was “the enemy” and that I wasn’t supposed to be his friend, but part of me wanted to be. Part of me knew it was wrong to hate someone for doing nothing against the magickal law. Part of me wanted to get along with him and not be his enemy. But, of course, that never happened. The day I met Baz, he was glaring at me and he called me an idiot. Such an arse. After that, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to mend the cracks in our relationship. Except there aren't _cracks_ . There are fucking _ravines,_ no, not ravines, canyons, like in America. Our relationship has canyons, and holes and fires. We dug those holes on day one, and _he_ started those fires on day two -- always fire with Baz -- and we started making those canyons on day three. Our hatred towards each other just kept growing and growing, over all these years, especially when we were fifteen. But this year, I just want to ignore him. Living with him is painful enough, and it’s not like I’m going to be getting a new roommate. I've got one year left after this, I managed cuts and bruises for six years, so what’s a few more? 

  
  


**Baz  
**

Simon Snow Sailsbury is a fool and is a waste of my time. Although he hasn’t been much of a pain in my arse this year, he still is annoyingly fit and I can’t do anything to change my gay ass. Oh, how I have tried, and failed to my disappointment. Snow has mostly been ignoring me the past few weeks, and I’m grateful for this. It’s one fewer person invading my space. People are constantly asking me questions and getting me to talk about my power, then there is aunt Fiona still trying to figure out how to take the Mage’s son out of our way (though most of her plans have been to take the Mage down) (which I am more grateful for -- he’s an absolute fuck-up). My father has been pushing me to study more this year and I’m just not up for all this popularity. I wonder if Snow would be getting a paparazzi if he was Most Powerful instead of me. Stupid Snow. Stupid curls. Stupid moles and freckles. Stupid power. Stupid feelings. 

August is always the hardest month of the year for everybody. People are always talking about the two Lady’s of Magick tragically dying, one by vampires and one by a werewolf, both caused by the fucking headmaster. Everywhere I turn someone is talking about my dead mother, or Snow’s dead mother, or dead vampires or werewolves. I want to punch every person who talks about our mums. Simon has been an absolute wreck all week. He was bummed out at the back to school picnic out in the Great Lawn, I know because I was watching… His eyes didn’t practically pop out of his head when cook Prichard brought out the roast beef on our first day of classes. I heard that Wellbelove broke up with him two days ago. Perfect fucking timing Wellbelove. I walked in and he was crying on his bed. I walked right out once he saw me. It was nearly killing me to not start a fight with him to restore some of his equilibrium this morning. It’s never been this bad; usually Bunce or Ebb the goatherd would pull him out of his trance, but I guess it wasn’t working this time.

It broke my heart to see him mourning over his mother’s death, and it completely shattered to see him crying over Wellbelove breaking up with him. I can’t imagine how he was acting on the twelfth of August. I know what happened that night. Everybody knows. Lucy Sailsbury died of a werewolf attack, and Simon experienced it all. _Experienced…_ he was scratched. He could have died that day if his mother wasn’t there to save him. Five year old Simon Snow Sailsbury, watching his mother die, scratched by a werewolf. Only a few people know of his scar. I’m one of them. I’m sure the Coven knows and Ebb as well, and Bunce maybe. My family is probably aware, but it’s never something we discuss. I know he gets potions to prevent it from happening but we’re all just waiting for the day he becomes one of them. No potion can prevent that from happening. It’s been 12 years since the claw pierced his skin to manifest a werewolf adaptation in his blood. He will become a werewolf eventually. Or were-mage. Fuck. A magickal werewolf. What a nightmare. How can I be in love with a nightmare?

I climb the steps of the tower, knowing Snow will be there. Probably in the shower. I almost fall into our room, that’s how tired I am. Snow is slumped in front of his wardrobe with only his dark grey trousers. He startles when I stumble in, grabbing a pair of pajamas. I know he won’t sleep in the pajama shirt; he never does, unless it’s too cold, even with the window shut. I throw my school bag down and instantly regret it so I pick it back up and set it on my desk chair. I hear Simon snort. I turn to him, glaring. 

“What Snow?” I snarl at him. I’m so done with this day. I just need a hot shower and some rest.

“Nothing. You just look like you stepped in shite.” He’s trying not to grin, I can see it and it makes me wobbly. I spin away from him.

“I think you're mistaken for yourself.” I start unpacking my bag, bringing my books and notes out to be reviewed. 

“Fuck you, Baz.” He’s starting to lose his temper, but I can tell his heart’s not in it. I turn back to him and lean against my desk, this is too much turning. I’m getting dizzy. 

“No, Snow, fuck you.” Is all I manage to say. It’s weak, but I’m tired. He huffs and walks into the bathroom, lightly slamming the door. Nice to know he’s fed up a bit.

When he comes out, his hair is damp and his face is flushed. His pajama pants are on, exposing his slouched shoulders, and his chest, covered in freckles and scattered with moles. His abs are soft looking and I trail my eyes down…. _Fuck_. I turn away from him, my cheeks warming. I grab my own pajamas and head into the bathroom, turning the water to hot. I shower at night, he showers in the morning. We’ve got the dance worked out. After (almost) seven years of living together we’ve learned how to best avoid the other while in the room at the same time. 

I walk out into our room, feeling a cool gust of wind from the window. Snow is in his bed, lying flat on his back. He’s not asleep. He won't be for a while. I won’t be either. Plagued by the same nightmare (kind of). I know why he’ll be up late because I’ll be up for the same reason. Fucking Mage.


	3. Crying in the Catacombs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon goes down to the catacombs to see his mother's tomb stone. Baz decides to join him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I am so sorry for not updating in forever! This is a super short chapter but the next chapter we will jump right into the story! Appologies loves! xo Arianna

**Simon**

  
  


This week has been a disaster. I’m a disaster. I can’t ever function properly the first few weeks of school, but Penny and Agatha usually help me. Not this time. I know Penny has noticed. And I know she’s trying so hard to fix me. There  _ is _ no fixing me. I can’t  _ be _ fixed. I suffer from trauma every year. It’s no different. Except this year it is. I want to forget about  _ becoming _ a werewolf. Any day now. The only thing running against me is time.  _ Time _ .  _ Werewolf _ .  _ Magician _ .

I run up the steps of the Mummers house, hoping to get away from everyone. I swing the door open, not expecting Baz to be there. He is, of course. Tying his tie in front of his wardrobe, not even using a mirror. I still need to use a mirror, after six years one would think I could do it without one. Baz turns his head the slightest to look at me. I rush past him and drop my bags on my bed. I grab my cloak from my wardrobe, swinging it around my shoulders. 

“Going somewhere?” Baz asks. There’s no venom in his voice. Odd.

“Catacombs.” I go down every year, same with Baz. I go to my mother’s tomb. To see her. Though I never  _ see _ her. It’s just a stone in the wall with her name etched into it. I always bring down flowers for her. 

Baz nods his head. “I’ll go with you.” I don’t say anything. I’m not in the mood to fight with Baz. But curiosity gets the best of me, and I open the door for Baz. 

I’ve never walked anywhere with Baz before. I mean, we are usually headed in the same direction, but we never walk  _ together _ . We’ve never fallen into step, walking side by side, heading down into the catacombs.  _ Never _ . 

I lead the way to my mum’s tomb. Natasha Pitch’s tomb is right beside hers. I fall to my knees when we reach the doorway. There it is. My mother’s brick. Tears slide down my cheeks and Baz walks over to his mother’s headstone. His finger’s trace the words and I hear him whispering. I’m not paying much attention to him though, so I don’t catch on. I set the flowers I collected down, underneath my mum’s brick, and a new fall of tears wet my face. 

“I’m sorry mum.” I whisper, hiccuping over my words. _ I’m sorry for being a child. I’m sorry for your death. I’m sorry for you having me.  _

“It wasn’t your fault, Snow.” Baz is leaning against the wall, his head hanging low. I think I see a tear steak down his cheek. I pull my knees up and set my head in my arms. My cries are the only sound for a long time. Baz is twirling his wand between his fingers. He keeps dropping it, so I know he’s not putting the effort in. He’s unusually quiet, but it’s probably because he’s thinking of his mum. I feel bad for him. He lost his mother too. 

His head falls back, into the stone and he slouches against the wall. I look up at my mother’s brick. _Lucy_ _Winifred Sailsbury. Lady of Magick. Watford’s hero. Born: July 19 1978 Death: August 12 2002_. She was only 24 when she died. She was only 19 when she had me. She was a single mother. She was the most powerful Lady of Magick. And what am I? _Nothing._ I’m nothing to my mother, to Ebb, to Baz, to the Mage, to the whole World of Magick! I’m nothing. _My rosebud boy!_ _Simon, you’re my rosebud boy,_ I hear my mother saying. She’s wrong. Rosebud nothing. 


	4. Werewolf Who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Werewolf-Simon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you. This is the good part friends! xo- IfSnowBazWereReal

**Baz**

  
  


Simon was an absolute disaster yesterday night in the catacombs, and he’s not any better today. My heart sinks every time I see him like this and I just want to pull him close to me and tell him it’s alright. I want him to know he’s not alone and I want to kiss his worries away. Except I can’t do that. Every time I see him I will myself not to get close. I try to distract myself from leaving the room, and if that’s not possible then I snark at Dev and Niall.

Classes are done for the day and I decide to head to the library. I’m sure Snow will be in our room or with Bunce, so I’ll be free of him for a couple hours. Maybe I’ll do some studying for next term? 

I take my time climbing the steps up to the turret, making my strides as long as possible without looking sluggish. I know I’m good at it. 

When I get to our door I hear a low grumble and a sound like books falling to the ground. I drop my bags and slip my wand from my sleeve. I grab onto the door handle and turn it slowly. I don’t want to be heard.

I swing the door open, pointing my wand in the direction of the noise, my mouth already murmuring a disarming spell. The spell catches and a loud howling whine noise fills my ears. 

Snow is in front of me, shaking like a dog. His school shirt is completely destroyed and lying in pieces all over the floor. There’s fur forming itself all over his back and neck. His spine is hunched forward and his head is hung low. One arm is planted on his knee to steady himself while the other is clawing at the bathroom doorway. _Clawing…_ There are claws on his hand. _His_ _paw_. Claw marks are scattered around the room; the floors, Simon’s bed, the walls, the back side of the door. 5 claw marks for each scratch. _Crowley_. 

Snow lets out another howl, like he’s in pain. He stumbles around making more trails of claw marks. He falls to the floor scratching at his face. It’s no longer a face anymore. It’s a dogs’. It’s a wolf’s. He has ears. Dog ears. Ons is split and blood oozes out of the wound. His eyes are diluted and black and his mouth is pulled up into a snarl. He’s _snarling_ . His lips make room for huge teeth and his nose is scrunched up, making him look pissed off. His _nose_ is no longer a human nose. It’s a wolf’s nose. A snout. He’s a werewolf. 

He’s transformed completely and he’s lying on his side. I hear him whimpering and my heart shatters. A floorboard creaks under my feet and his ears perk at the sound. He scampers onto his hind legs and snarls at me. He’s definitely two feet taller than before. He’s heaving and breathing hard. My wand is out in front of me and I know I should be casting a spell. _I should have been casting spells long before this._ We make eye contact and I swear to Merlin, I see his fear in his eyes. He’s scared, the poor boy. He doesn’t want to be a wolf. But he has no choice. 

His eyes flick down to my wand and turn my wrist just so. His eyes go big and he snarls at it, drool dripping from his mouth. His snout is sniffing at something so I turn my body, keeping my eyes on him and toss my wand onto my bed. He snuffles and looks at me. He looks like he’s about to attack. 

I raise my hands in surrender and take a step closer to him. He growls at me but it sounds completely wrong. It’s not a growl, almost a choke-?. _Did he say my name?_ He does it again. He whines, shaking his body, like he’s shaking something off. _What is it, Simon?_

“Simon.” He immediately stops shaking. His ears perk up for a second and his head tilts. he stares at me for a split second, then all hell breaks loose. His puples dilute and e’s shaking, snarling, growling, snorting, howling, slamming himself up against the walls. The jambs on the bathroom door break and he falls in. I run to my bed and grab my wand. I shout a freezing spell but it doesn’t hold. Werewolf-Simon jumps up from the floor and heads my way. Any hope left in his eyes are gone. He’s completely out of it. 

His body lunges forward but I duck out of his way. He slams into my wardrobe and snuffs. A growl escapes him. He comes for me again and I cast a protection spell against myself. He plows into a force field surrounding my body and flies backward, falling into a small murder fuzz-ball, whimpering against the pain of the spell. I step in his direction. 

**“Hush little baby,"** I whisper. It’s a sleeping spell, so hopefully it will hold him off. The spell takes hold of werewolf-Snow and his breathing slows a touch. I cast a few more spells to make sure he doesn’t harm anyone, and walk over to our window. Yep, a full moon. How did I not see this coming?

  
I walk back over to werewolf-Simon and crouch next to him. I hold a hand out by his head but I don't touch him. He looks soft. His breath is warm on my hand. I gently touch my finger to his snout. He's warm. I sigh and stand back up.

What are we going to do?  
  
  


**Simon**

  
  


I wake up at the crack of dawn and my whole body aches. Thank Merlin it’s the weekend. I’m lying on the floor, I don’t have a shirt on and my trousers are ripped. It’s a bad rip. I sit up, wincing at the pain in my back and shoulders. I’m in pain everywhere. I hear someone clear their throat, my eyes flick up and land on Baz, sitting in his desk chair, leaning forward looking at me. His hair is loose and falling around his face, making him look like a god of some sort. His brows, for once are pulled together and his lips turn into a frown when he meets my eyes. His eyes are lined with a red tinge and there are dark bags underneath them. His irises are a hard grey color, making him look half dead. He looks ticked off. And worried. 

“Alright, Snow?” His voice is tired but sincere. 

“Yeah. Any idea why I’m lying on the floor and why my body aches?” I plow my hand through my hair, not taking my eyes off Baz. He’s wearing yesterday's clothes, I can tell. 

He gives me a weird look and his eyes sweep over me. He seems to understand that I’m confused so he gestures his head around the room. 

The first thing I see is claw marks all over the walls. How did I miss this when I woke up? I see my shirt, torn up and in piles of cloth spread out on the floors, I see the bathroom door on the floor, not attached to the wall where it’s supposed to be. My bed is a disaster; torn sheets and the pillows ripped. Feathers and half my bed sheets all over the floor. Everything that happened last night rushes back to me. I wasn’t feeling quite right during Magic Words, or during tea time. I remember one of my professors saying it was a full moon tonight and I remember mentaly kicking myself for not drinking my potion yesterday during breakfast. As soon as classes were over I went straight to my room. I took a shower and I paced my side of the room. I practiced my stance and I tried to study. I remember, when Baz didn’t come back I went to the window and opened it. I remember seeing the full moon. I remember-

My breath hitches and my hands start to sweat. I’m hallucinating _._ I bring my knees up. to my chest and lower my head between my legs. _Deep_ _breaths_. _Come on Simon. Hold it together. You just turned into a werewolf, that’s all….. I turned into a werewolf! Merlin! I’m a werewolf now-_

I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump away from instinct. I look up to Baz’s eyes. They’re wide and I immediately feel bad for jumping away from him. Wait- did I hurt Baz? I can’t remember. 

“Snow. Calm down.” His arm is on my shoulder, rubbing soothing circles. “Breathe. Just breathe. It’s okay.” He’s whispering soothing coos. It’s so sweet. I feel safe all of a sudden and I decide to let my guard down. Just for a bit. Baz’s arm slides around my shoulders. Why is he being so nice? I almost killed him last night. But he seems okay, so is it safe for me to assume he’s okay? He’s whispering soothing words and it’s so sweet. Baz is just so vulnerable right now. So vulnerable and kind…. This isn’t the Baz I know. But maybe I don’t know Baz at all, after all, I’ve only seen his villainous side….

  
  
  


I wake up to a grumble in my belly. Merlin, I’m hungry. I rub my eyes, they’re crusty with sleep. I try shifting but Baz is still sitting right beside me, and I’m still leaning on him. I groan and rub my hands through my hair. Baz seems to be awake and he moves his arm from behind me. I groan again. He lifts his eyebrow and I feel myself blush. But why? I shouldn’t be blushing around my enemy. Baz just leans against the wall, still beside me, but not as close as before. We both stare at the now destroyed room. 

“I guess we should clean this up then?” Baz says more to himself than to me. He pushes himself up, off the ground and collects his wand from his desk. He casts cleaning and repairing spells all while I just sit on the floor watching him. When he’s done with the bathroom he comes out and cocks one of his elegant brows. 

“So much for ‘we should clean up.’” He smirks and shakes his head. “Are you alright? You took some pretty hard falls last night.”

I groan and try to shift off the ground. I make my way up the wall, nearly falling on the floor as I push myself away from the wall. Baz catches me with a sturdy arm. I wince. 

“Looks like you’re hurt pretty bad.” 

“I- Uh- yeah I… Sorry.” I blush once again, shaming myself. 

“Snow you didn’t do anything wrong. And please stop blubbering up a mess. Aleister Crowley, use your words.” He slowly maneuvers me to my bed and helps me sit down. 

“What do you mean Baz! I turned into a werewolf! I nearly destroyed the room and I probably hurt you!" I growl. "And you have it in your right mind to say I did nothing wrong? I’m sorry, but I did everything wrong-” I’m cut off by Baz.

“Snow-” He starts but I don’t let him finish.

“No Baz, you listen to me. It was my fault I turned into a werewolf all because I didn’t take my potion at breakfast-” 

“You didn’t take your potion?! Snow!” Baz’s eyes are wide. Why does he even care about me? I thought he wanted me dead.

“And why do you seem to care? You’re the one who wants me dead.” That stumps him. I never thought I’d see the day where the Baz Grimm-Pitch is at loss of words. This must be a blessed day. “Like I said, it was my fault, I knew it was a full moon and I wasn’t being careful.”

“Snow.” I ignore him.

“Now every mage will know I am now a werewolf and nobody can change that. I’ll go around the school eating first years for legal game and the Coven will have to lock me in a tower because of it.” I feel tears prick at my eyes. 

“Snow.” He whispers. It sounds like it pains him to say it.

“I did this Baz. I don’t deserve to be here because now nobody is safe. Especially you of all people.” A tear slides down my cheek and I don't bother to wipe it away. 

“Sailsbury!” He yells. I freeze. He never calls be that. Nobody does. “Shut up! None of this is your fault, okay!? You didn’t call the werewolf to Watford to kill your mother, did you? No, you didn’t. And yes, maybe you were being a bit selfish and stupid when you didn’t take you potion, but mistakes happen. It’s what makes us human. The Coven won’t lock you up in a tower because they know you would transform into a werewolf one day and they know that they can’t change that about you.”

I’m crying now. And I can’t stop. Why is Baz being so nice to me? It’s not right!

“So stop wollowing in a hole and brave the fuck up because it’s killing all of us to see you mourning and slumping around looking like a fool.” Baz is furious. His breathing is quick and he’s just staring at me. I’m a mess and I’m crying in front of my enemy. “Crowley, stop crying. You’re making me ill.” I stifle a laugh and I swear I see his cheeks dust with pink _. Did Baz just blush? Why is he being so kind? And didn't he say that it's killing him to see me sad?_

“Thanks.” I hiccup. 

His face twists up into disgust and he turns away from me. “Don’t thank me, Snow.” His voice is so low. He muffles something and heads into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

  
  
  


**Baz**

  
  


_I’m not worth your thanks._ I said it so quietly so he wouldn’t hear. I nearly kissed him 5 seconds ago. I nearly kissed him this morning when he first woke up and when he fell asleep in my arms and then when he woke up in my arms. _Bloody_ Snow. He will be the death of me and this _will_ end in flames. 


	5. Potion Experiments and Telling Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon decides to tell Ebb and Penelope that he's a werewolf. Baz says he'll help Simon, but why? Baz does some research on potions and he and Penelope do some expirementing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so long. I'm sorry, I tried to make it good. I'm on a tight schedule people. I have a story plan I need to follow! Lol. Enjoy loves! xx- Ari

**Simon**

  
  


I need to tell someone. I can’t just not do anything about it! I could hurt someone! I almost hurt Baz yesterday, and I don’t know what I would do if I did hurt him. So I need to tell someone. Penny, Ebb, Miss Possibelf, the Mage. No, not the Mage. That bastard needs to die. I don’t care about being related, that hardly even matters-

I need to tell Penelope. Or Ebb. I’ll tell Ebb first. She’ll understand. But I need to tell Baz that I’m going to tell her. Would he come with me if I asked?

Baz is lying in his bed, doing his best to ignore me. I’m always up with the sun. Everyday, even on weekends. Usually I’m out of the room before he’s even out of bed. 

I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, facing Baz, my white tee unbuttoned and my tie hanging loosely around my neck. I rub my hands up and down my legs, trying to dry them off. I’m sweating. The window is closed. I always close it before I go down to breakfast. 

“Baz?” I say into my lap. He doesn’t even move. “Baz,” I say, a bit louder this time. He stirs and shuffles around, not turning my way though.

“Crowley, why are you waking me up at this ungodly hour?” His voice is raspy and I watch as his hands go up to his face to rub his eyes. 

“I’m telling Ebb,” I say. Baz turns around completely in his bed to look at me. I drop my head again and fiddle with my shirt. He sits up.

“What?” I peak at him without lifting my head. He’s running his fingers through his hair. It looks smooth, but it's a bit messy from sleeping. I bet it's soft.

“I’m-” I clear my throat and swallow. “I’m telling Ebb about it. Then Penny.” I don’t dare to raise my head. I don’t know why I’m so embarrassed by this either. Baz already knows. 

“Fine,” I look up at him confused. _Fine_? That’s it?

“Oh- okay...” I get off my bed. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that. I’m nervous to tell Penelope and Ebb. What will happen if I tell the Mage? Will he kick me out if the only home I've ever had?

“Snow?” Baz walks over to me, still in his pajamas. “Alright?” He raises a brow and looks down at my hand, it’s hovering by the door handle. I notice that I’m just standing there, looking at him. My cheeks flush and I step away. My hand goes to my hair and my head falls. I can’t look at him.

I try to get past him, so he steps to the side to let me by. I open the door to our room, my head still down. The door smacks into my forhead and I yelp, holding my head in my hand. I hear Baz snicker behind me. I step out of the room, hoping to get away from the ebarassment, and shut the door behind me. I’m not even down the first step when the door opens and Baz is calling my name.

“Forget something, Snow?” I can practially hear him smirking. My bags! And the rest of my uniform! Groaning, I spin on my heal, and rush past him into the room. My bag is on my chair and my books are spread out all over my desk. I shove random books into it, hopig to get out of hear. No more embarrasment today. I quickly button up my shirt. I am positive they aren’t even in the right slots but I’ll fix it later. 

I scurry around my room, looking for my blazer. Baz is leaning against his desk, legs and arms crossed, watching me with a brow raised. _He’s just standing there!_ I plow my hand through my hair and pull things out of my wardrobe, trying to find a blazer. Where is it?

“Snow,” Baz says. I turn as he’s walking over to my desk, picking my blazer off of my chair. Of course. He stares at me with his head cocked. “Are you alright? You seem...unnerved.”

I shake my head. “Yeah, well. You try to tell your best friend, kind-of-mum and your father-who-doesn’t-give-two-shits-about-you that you’re a werewolf and you tell me how it goes. Of course I’m unnerved!” I start to pace the room and I pull at my hair with both hands. 

“Snow. It’s not that bad. I can help you, if that’s what you want?” I freeze. _What did he say?_

“What?” I turn, so slowly. 

“I said,” He pauses, swallowing. It’s very perfect. Ugh. “That I will help you.” 

“ _Why_ , why would _you_ , of all people, my _enemy_ , _help_ _me_?” He’s got to be confused.

“Are you serious right now?” He’s getting angry. Possessed maybe?

“I don’t know, Baz, am I?” I try to sound really sarcastic. “Tell me. Why would you want to help me?”

  
  
  


**Baz**

  
  


_Why do you want to help me?_ Because I love you, you idiot! Why else!? I’m hoplessly in love with you, and you’re too dumb to see it! 

“Because-” I can _not_ say that I love him. Absolutly not. “Because you’re a fucking werewolf Snow! And the potions you drink everyday won’t do anything to stop you from transforming into a bloody animal, you complete wanker!” _Good job Baz_. Nice save. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be Turned into an predatorial animal.” _By the man I love,_ I don’t add. “I-” _Now_ _look_ _what_ _you_ _did_ _Basilton_. I _can’t_ say anything else. I can’t.

Snow is sqinting at me. _Shit_. He knows I’m hiding something else from him. Of course I’m hiding something! He looks so worried and scared and it hurts to see him that way. I don’t nessisarily want him to be hurting, but I can’t tell him that. He’s convinced I’m the enemy, when the Mage and the Humdrum are literally the biggest threats right now. 

The Mage will strike his fancy agaisnt my family whenever the time is right, and of course, he won’t be framed and he’ll get away with it because he’s the bloody Mage. Head of the Coven. In charge of the whole World of Mages technically. A piece of shit, is what he is. 

“What was that, Baz? Did you- did you say something?” He’s teasing me, the fucker. He thinks this is a game? He steps toward me. 

“No. No, I am good. Nothing to be, uh, said,” I am truly fucked. I can’t _believe_ I just did that. I _stammered_. _I_ messed _up_ a sentence because of Simon bloody Snow. My cheeks are reddening, I can tell. My face is so hot. _Stupid_ _boy_. 

“Baz. Tell me,” His mouth twitches at the corners. It takes everything in me to give him my best glare. He steps forward again, so I’m forced to step back. _What is he doing?_ “Baz.” Did he just whisper my name? Crowley.

“I’m sorry Sim- Snow. I don’t believe I know what you’re talking about,” His face fucking lights up at me almost calling him Simon. The effect this boy has on me, I swear to the stars. 

“You sure Baz? Because I’m pretty sure you need to say something,” He’s grinning like a fool and pushing me up against the wall. Does he know what he’s doing to me? He’s flirting and he doesn’t even know it! Simon bloody Snow, you’ll be the death of me.

“Nope.” My back hits the wall behind me, but Simon doesn’t stop coming closer to me. I bet he doesn’t even know what he’s doing. 

“Hmm,” He squints, he’s smiling at the same time so it just looks silly, but it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. My heart melts. I can’t believe I’m sweating _. Get it together Basilton!_ “I’m pretty sure you’re hiding something,” _Fuck_. If he finds out I love him, I’m screwed all the way to Hell. Why hasn’t the devil saved me from my misery yet? He’s smiling and I’m breaking. “Tell me? Please?” Now he’s done it. He’s begging me to tell him….. Crowleyyy. I am so fucked.

“Fine!” I hiss at him. It sounds nothing like my normal threatening hiss. It sounds…. Nothing like it. Great. 

“What do you truly want to tell me Basilton Pitch? What secrets are you hiding?” Did he just ask me that? Morgana, all I want to do is launch myself at him and tell him how much I love him and snog him senseless. _He's so close._ But that won’t help this situation… Unless? _No_. 

I roll my eyes for good measure, but I’m smirking a little. “I want to help you, Snow. Because I don’t want you to feel shitty about being a werewolf. I’d hate being in your shoes too.” It comes out a whisper. His eyes are wide. We’re so close. _So_ close. All I’d have to do is move my head forward a bit and we’d be kissing. Crowley, is he staring at my lips? “I don’t want you to be a werewolf. You don’t deserve it.”

“That’s it?” He whispers. I shake my head. _What am I doing!_ He grins.

“I-” We’re interrupted by my alarm. Snow flinches, pulling me somewhat out of my trance. He looks disappointed. He leans back and crosses his arms. He’s not grinning anymore, but he sure is blushing. What just happened?

“You can help me I guess. But you have to come with me when I tell Penny and Ebb, deal?”

“Deal.” My voice comes out way more confident than I thought it would. 

He nods. “Good. I’ll find you at tea time?” I nod again. He grabs his blazer out of my hand and slings his book bag over his shoulder. He’s out the door and down the steps before I’ve caught my breath. I slump against the wall. What. The. Absolute. Fuck. Just. Happened. 

  
  


**Simon**

  
  


What did I just do? Did I flirt with Baz? I think so. Did Baz get flustered? Yes. Does that ever happen? No. Why? I don’t know. Was he staring at my lips? I think so. Was I? Yes. What does that even mean? I have no idea. What is happening? 

Baz just told me he wanted to help me because he didn’t want me to be a werewolf and because he doesn’t think I deserve it. I almost buy that. When Baz says it, I think I believe it. It may be true. 

All of what he said, it means he cares about me, right? It means, behind all the fighting and cursing and hate, he cares about me? It means, he wants me to be okay. Shit man! What does that even _mean_?!

“Simon? Are you alright?” Penny is staring at me with her fork stalled to her lips.

“Yeah, I just- Penny, can I talk to you later? Like, at tea time?” I stop shoveling my food into my mouth and move my hand into my hair. I cast a glance at Baz’ table. His eyes flick to mine so I look away.

“Of course, Simon. Is it about the Mage? Please tell me it’s not about Baz.” She’s smiling softly, so I try to return it.

“Uh, not really. No, not about the Mage. I just- I’m confused. I just need to talk?” Confused. About everything. About Baz. About the Mage. About being a werewolf now. About Baz…. I already mentioned that, didn’t I? 

“Whatever you want, Si. Should we meet here? Or out by the yew trees?” She continues eating.

“Yeah, yew trees. Tea time. Perfect.” I try to smile, but it really goes nowhere.

Penelope rolls her eyes, “Close your mouth before I spell it closed.” I do. I realise, Penny can be alot like Baz sometimes, just, more nicer. 

  
  
  


By the time tea comes around, I’m flushed and jittery. My magic is buzzing in my fingers and throat. I find Baz in professor Minos’ classroom and when he sees me, his eyes widen and his nose wrinkles. I roll my eyes and grab his arm, pulling him to the Court Yard. I pull him through the gates and out onto the Great Lawn. I spot Penny, sitting under one of the yew trees and spread up to meet her. Baz trips and grunts, but I don’t let go of him. 

Penny looks up when we reach her and stares at me and Baz.

“What?” I ask. I look over to Baz, he’s standing right beside me, and I’m still holding onto his arm... I pull away too quickly and stumble over my feet. I fall on my arse, right next to Penny. Baz rolls his eyes so I glare at him. 

“I didn’t know Baz was going to join us.” Penny says. 

Baz nods at her in greeting, “Bunce,” he sits down in front of us. Penny has a blanket layed out with tea, sandwiches and scones on it. I reach for the scones and butter. Baz rolls his eyes.

Penny turns to Baz, “Tea?” He nods. She pours. I eat. “So,” she says when she’s done pouring our tea. I clear my throat and swallow. “What’s up?” 

“I- uh…” I look at Baz for help. He has a book in his lap, a highlighter in one hand and notes in the other. I slap him.

“Ow, Snow,” he looks up at me. “You’re the one who wanted me here.”

Penny raises an eyebrow. I can just see it over her spectacles. “Fine. Pen, um… you know when- uh-” I’m shit with words. Everyone here knows it. Baz rolls his eyes. “When the full moon- ermm- I turned…. Uh.” 

“Crowley, Snow.” Baz sighs.

“Shut up, okay? I’m telling her, unless you want to,” I glare at him.

“It would be way faster.”

“I’m doing it,” I nearly yell.

“Simon-” Penny tries to cut it.

“I’m a werewolf!” I yell. Everyone falls silent. “I’m a werewolf,” I say, much quieter. 

“Oh, Simon. That’s why you were so distant. Simon,” Penelope falls onto me, giving me the biggest hug. I’m not sure why though. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.”

“No, Pen, It’s fine. Trust me, you didn’t want to be there. Baz walked in and helped me. I’m fine,” I look over at Baz. He’s staring right at me, trying to tell me something with his eyes. Something like, _are you going to tell her what happened after that?_ I shake my head at him. I look down at Penny. Her eyes are wet and her light brown nose is turning pink. 

“I’m sorry Simon. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” I glance at Baz. He’s pulling things out of his bag.

“Bunce, you know Snow can’t stop it, right?” 

“What do you mean?” She pushes her glasses up.

“Snow will transform into a werewolf again. There is no spell to prevent it. I did some research earlier at lunch,” I look at Baz. He did research? For me? 

Penny notices his strange behavior and looks at me. A confused expression plays along her face. She turns to Baz, tipping her head. His cheeks pink. Huh. Odd. “What did you search for?” She asks him. 

“I just told you,” Penny looks unimpressed. Baz rolls his eyes. “I looked in the magickal creatures section in the library, as well as the spells section. Reversing spells, transforming spells. Undoing spells. There was nothing.”

“What about potions? Did you find any recipes that may be useful?” She doesn’t let Baz answer and turns to me, “speaking of, Simon, have you been taking your potion? I didn’t see you take it at breakfast this morning.” 

This gets Baz’s attention. “You didn’t take it? Again?” Penelope looks at Baz. “What? I don’t want him to turn into a werewolf and devour me in my sleep. Would you?” He’s got a point. 

“But I only turn on the full moon.” He shrugs. It’s a very me-thing to do.

“I’m right to be precautious.”

“True,” Penny agrees. “Wait, what do you mean ‘again’? Simon, did you not take your potion other than today?” Her brow is furrowed.  
  


“I did take it today!” I say at the same time as Baz says, “He didn’t take it the night of the full moon.”

“Simon!” Penelope shreaks. “You know you’re supposed to be extra cautious on full moons! I made you a calendar so you could track every one!” She slaps my arm. 

Baz rolls his eyes. “I’ll look in our potions class. Maybe professor Benedict has something that will help.” He closes his books and starts to pack his things. 

“Right,” I say. Potions. I have my potion on me right now. I usually have it in the morning, at breakfast with Penny. It tastes disgusting, so I always have it with food. I took it after first block, but I did forget to take it during breakfast. I take it out now, and Penny hands me a sandwich. “Thanks,” I say. “I took it during first block Pen. I forgot during breakfast. Sorry.” I pop the cap of the bottle.

“Don’t apologise to me, Simon. It’s your fault if you transform unexpectedly.”

“I told you, it only happens on full moons.” She and Baz both shrug. I shake my head and take a bite out of the cress sandwich. Penny winces when I lift the bottle to my lips. It hits my tongue and slips down my throat. It’s thick and I hate the feeling. I quickly take another bite of my sandwich. Penny turns away, so I look at Baz. He’s frowning. It’s a very Baz-thing to do, but it looks like he’s actually sad, not just disappointed. 

“Right,” I say again. “We’ll meet up again?” Baz looks away from me and starts helping Penny with the food.

“Of course.” Penny says. “Sometime this week?” She looks at Baz.

“Don’t look at me. Snow’s the one who’ll drag me there. And I assume I’ll just have to clear my schedule.” I roll my eyes. His schedule.

Penny flicks her ring hand, casting, **“Out, out, damned spot!”** She spins her wrist and the food and blanket disappears. She wipes non-existent crums of her hands and gets up. “I’m heading back. I still have to study.” 

“See yah, Pen!” I say. She heads off to the fortress, waving back at me and Baz. “Next stop, Ebb’s.”

Baz rolls his eyes. “Next stop, classes. Then we can go to her at dinner. We missed our chance at lunch.” 

“Oh, right,” We stand there for an awkward moment. “Right,” I say. “I’ll get you at dinner?” He nods.

  
  
  


I find Baz in the dining hall and, once again, I have to drag him away from his crowd, which is humiliating. Why does he make me do this? I don’t let go of him until we’re outside Ebb’s barn. 

I knock on the door, “Hiya Ebb! It’s Simon!” I hear some shuffling inside before Ebb’s head pops out of the red doors.

“Simon! My boy! Come in, I just got back from herding the goats. Little Luna is loving the first years.” Luna was a new born last spring. She was so weak that she couldn’t leave the barn for the rest of the school year. During the summer, I would sit with her and pet her. She’s my favorite. Ebb says she only listens to me, and when I’m not here, she’s a hassle.

Ebb notices Baz and smiles. She winks at me and my whole face turns red. “Master Pitch, it’s nice to see you. Howsa young man doing like yourself?” She guides him to the sitting area, near the back.

Baz puts on a show of being polite, “I am doing well. How about yourself?” He smiles politely at her. I roll my eyes.

“I am doing quite well, thank you lad. I hope you’re treating my Simon goodly. He deserves a nice young man like you, Basil,” she smiles at both of us. _What!_? No, no no no no. Oh Merlin! Did she just say that!? 

“Ebb- we’re not- uh- that’s not-!” I’m a blushing mess and I’m flustered. I can’t bring my eyes to Baz’s. “He’s not my- uh…. Ebb, it’s not like that…”

“It’s not?” Ebb’s face falls and she looks confused. _Why_? Baz’s isn’t my boyfriend. That’s just…..wrong. Right? I can’t be in love with my enemy. And he’s _Baz_. I can’t like _Baz_. That’s just disgusting…. Right? No no no. Nuh-uh. “Ah well, we have time!” My face turns a deeper shade of red so I turn away, glancing at Baz as I do. His face is a light pink, other than that, normal Baz. _Perfect_ _twat_. “Anywho,” she waves her hand at us and turns toward the hearth. I help her gather wood and place it how I like. I always do this over the Christmas break when I’m not at Agatha’s. It’s far too cold in here when it snows.

I look over at Baz. He’s standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. He looks like he doesn't know what to do. 

“Sit,” I order him and nod my head at one of the plush chairs Ebb and I got a couple years back at a good wearhouse. He does. I turn back to helping Ebb. 

“Go sit,” she says. “Or busy yourself with making tea. And find the biscuits? I think we have some left.” She says it as a question so I get up to find them. “Basil would ya care for tea? Simon’ll make some,” she smiles at him. 

“That would be lovely,” posh toff. I scoff. He glares at me when Ebb turns away. 

“Lovely,” Ebbs says, cheerfully. She’s always so cheerful. Cheerful or crying. I like it. Ebb is a very gentle person. She never raises her voice at me when I do something wrong, and she’s usually a bit sad. She’s a bit of a weeper. It bothers Penny and Agatha. I don’t mind. She never tells me to look on the bright side or to keep my chin up. It’s comforting. It’s one less person telling me to be someone I’m not, I guess. I can’t imagine all the pressure Baz gets, being very powerful and being the only heir of the house of Pitch. 

I come back with the tea and a plate of biscuits. I set them on the small table and take a mug. Ebb settles in her chair and pokes at the fire with her staff. 

“Ebb?” I say. I need to tell her now. She needs to know. She’s like my mother. I can’t hide something this big, everybody knows I’m crap at lying. 

“Yes dear?” She looks lost. I’m sorry for that.

“You know how, when I get older, I’ll turn into a werewolf? Uh-” she nods her head and pops a biscuit into her mouth. 

“Yes. Did something happen?”

“Uh, yeah. I may have not taken my potion the night of the full moon… And uh..” her eyes widen and I see them wet with tears. 

  
  


“My boy. Are you okay?” she sniffs and wipes her nose on her jumper. 

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. I just- I’m worried,” I fiddle with my hands in my lap. I don’t know what to do. 

“It’s okay to be worried. We knew this would happen,” she pats my knee. “Do ya need anything, love? Do I need to help you with anything?”

“Um. No, I don’t think so,” I look at Baz. He’s watching me. 

“Ah well. Come to me if you need help. I’ll take care of ya. Master Pitch, be good to him,” she wipes her eyes, sniffing.

“Of course,” he gives her a small smile and a nod. So _weird._

“Uh. Thanks Ebb,” I smile at her. She gives her eyes one last wipe and stands up. “Time to go,” I say to Baz. He nods.

“Next time, Simon. Will I see you next week? are you comming home?” She hugs me and sniffs in my ear. I miss Ebb. 

“Of course,” I say. I hold the door open for Baz. It’s just a polite thing to do. “I’ll bring some scones. We’ll have a picnic with the goats?” I smile at her.

“Sounds good,” she waves as Baz and I head back to the school buildings. 

  
  
  


**Baz**

We get to the Weeping Tower and go our separate ways for dinner. I head to my table, looking over my shoulder at Snow before I sit. He looks away when our eyes meet. 

After dinner, I head to professor Benedicts class. He’s there so I greet him at the door. 

“Sir,” I nod my head.

He looks up at me, over a book he’s reading. “Mr. Pitch. What brings you to my class this afternoon?” 

“I’m doing some research. And I was wondering if I could play around with some potions?” 

“Ah. You know the rules. Make a mess, clean it up. If something goes wrong, fire extinguisher is in the corner, and you have your wand,” he nods to the corner. “I’ll be heading out in a few. Clean your station before you leave.”

“Of course sir.” I drop my bag on a chair and head to the back of the class where the potion books are kept. I flip through the love potions, luck potions, good fortune, growth, smarts, wit- ah there it is; transformation potions. 

I flip the book open and go to the table of contents. I run my finger down the page until it lands on what I’m looking for. Animal transformation potions? What about animal transformation spells? I know there’s a spell for turning someone into a frog. Penelope always threatens to use it. She needs to get a new threatening spell. I have plenty that would do nicely.

Professor Benedict moves around the room, collecting things on his desk and heads to the doorway. He nods at me on his way out and keeps the door open. 

I keep scanning the page. There’s a knock at the door and I look up. Bunce is standing there with a bunch of books in her arms. 

“Speak of the devil,” I say, looking back down at the text. “Bunce.”

“Aw, Basil, were you thinking of me?” she drops her books on the lab station, causing me to jump a little. 

“I was,” I say. “You always threaten Snow with that frog spell. Maybe you should try a different threatening spell. May make you look a little bit more dangerous.” I smirk. 

“Oh, were you thinking about Simon too?” I glare at her. She smirks at me.

“Why are you here, Bunce?” 

“You’re making potions and researching transforming spells. You tell me why I’m here.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re wanting to hang out with me.” I smirk again.

She waves her hand at me. “Get over yourself Baz. You’re just lonely.” 

“Perhaps.” 

“Not that one,” she points to the potion formula I’m looking at. “It’s no good. It’ll only stop him for a moment. It may be painful too.” 

“Might as well try it. If we’re trying to get Snow to stop transforming completely, it won’t work though.”

“Yes, I know. But we can try to prevent it. Like I said, that potion is dangerous. Bad side effects. If we’re preventing the transformation, I don’t want to hurt Simon in the process.”

“I don’t think that’s your choice, Bunce. I say we try a few potions out, and have a list to see what he prefers. This one,” I say, gesturing to the book. “This one can be put on that list as an option for him.”

“You just want to hurt him. I won’t let you. Basilton.” She’s squinting at me, staring hard. 

“I don’t want to hurt him any more than you do.” I say, raising my hand in surender. 

“That sure is easy to believe. You’ve two been trying to hurt each other since the moment you first laid eyes on the other.” _Except you don’t know the half of it._ The first time I laid eyes on Snow, all I wanted to do was snog him. I was pretty messed up at 11, okay?

“Why do you even think I said I would help Snow? I don’t want a werewolf roommate!” 

“Hmm,” She squints at me again, so I sneer, just to drive it home. The last person I need is Bunce figuring out I love Snow. 

“So, do you have any recommendations?” 

“I do, actually,” she pushes her glasses up. “I think we should use a potion and a spell maybe? Perhaps we could do a ritual, if all else fails. But we should communicate wi-” 

I interrupt her with my hand. “You want to perform a _ritual_? Do you even know the cost of that? That could go haywire if we mess it up,” I shake my head. 

“Baz, we learned how to do rituals last year. It’ll be fine. Again, we’d have to ask Simon for permission. After all, this is a transformation problem we’re talking about.”

“We’re not doing a ritual. To many things at stake.”

“I don’t see how this is about you, Baz. You’re not the one who’s a werewolf.” Her hands are on her hips. It makes her look like a child. 

I glare at her. “Fine. We talk to Snow.” 

“Perfect.”

Bunce and I go through the potion textbooks at the back of the class, we find a couple that may help so we bring them to the lab station. Bunce sorts the books that she brought and writes some of the formulas out on paper. We go through the ones that sound the best to use yet I still have doubts that they’ll work on Simon. I’m not sure that these potions are supposed to be used on humans, let alone werewolves, but why wouldn’t they work?

We slim our list down to 10 potions and decide to test some of them. Bunce says we can do spells another time. She orders me to get the materials while she brews a dark brown liquid in the small cauldron. I would hate to drink any of these. They look quite revolting. I feel bad for Simon, all of a sudden. I saw his face when he drank his potion this afternoon. It looked like it pained him to do so, like he was going to vomit.

Bunce places goggles on her head and pulls out two aprons. She hands one to me. It looks disgusting. Bunce notices my reaction so she shoves it in my face, laughing. I roll my eyes. Her frizzy hair is springing all around her head and her goggles aren't any better. She hands me a pair of goggles too. I spell them clean before putting them on. 

She stirs the liquid while holding her hand out for ingredients, ordering me to pass them to her. She tells me to get a _test_ _subject_ to see if the potion will work. 

“A test subject? You sound like an evil wizard planning on taking down the world,” she looks like one too. Whenever she leans over the pot to see inside, the formula book in her one hand, her ring hand out in front of her, she looks like a madman. It’s quite funny.

“Well what would you call them?” she laughs. “Peasants? Organisms?” 

I laugh. “What test subject do you wish to experiment on?” I ask.

“I don’t know. The formula says to use a rat or a frog, but we’re going to be performing this on a Simon, so.”

“You want me to get Simon?” I laugh, trying not to crack a smile.

“No, I mean like,” her eyes are big, but she’s laughing too.

“I know what you implied, Bunce,” I say. “You wanted to use a fetus.”

She bursts into a fit of giggles. “What?! No! Baz! Merlin!” I laugh, because what I said was kind of funny. 

“Then what are we going to use if we can’t use a fetus?” 

“I don’t know. Just use a rat. Or something.”

I spell a rat for Bunce. She must not have been expecting it because it skitters to the floor and scurries under a desk. Bunce shrieks and chases after it. I take her place at the small cauldron. I hear Bunce cast a **_Come out, come out, wherever you are!_** on the rat. It squirms as she picks it up and places it into a testing box. I pour the potion into an enchanted potion bottle and hand it to Bunce. She checks the notes she made and the formula sheet before pouring it. Some potions need a spell to be cast before they’re consumed or used. This one apparently doesn’t, so Bunce looks up at me.

“Would you like to do the honors? Our first potion made together. We should be documenting this, Baz,” she hands me the bottle.

“We are,” I say. I pull my wand out and flick my wrist. A video recording pops up in the air, showing the small red dot blinking at us with numbers still counting up and writing, saying _recording_. I flick my wrist again and the recording in the air disappears. Penelope _hmms_ her approval. “It’s so we can see if this one works. And I’d love to see if this rat will die or not,” I say sarcastically.

“It won’t _die,_ ” she says. “It says it will turn into a….” she checks the textbook. “A beastly animal-?” She looks up at me. Pushing up her glasses, she reads on, “ _This effect can be undone or reversed by using, inserting or consuming the potion again. If the specimen you are using is already ‘beastly’ then this potion will reverse it to its normal state of being._ Huh. I never read that before,” she looks at me. “Baz, this might work on Simon!”

I roll my eyes, “I know it might work, Bunce. That’s why it’s on the list.”

She rolls her eyes. I grab the potion from her hand and tip it so the liquid slowly oozes out. Penelope wrinkles her nose. The potion hits the rat’s back and drips down its side. Nothing happens.

“Maybe we have to inject it into the rat’s system? It says it needs to be consumed or inserted into the body.” I set the bottle down on the station counter, not even thinking twice about what I’m about to do, I reach for the syringes and needles. I pour the potion into a small container. We did learn how to do this at the end of last year. Snow practically passed out. I was his partner to my delight and horror. He’s terrible at potions. We were doing an experiment on rats, so I’m well familiar with where the needle goes. I also did some extra homework over the summer. I always do some summer school over the break. 

I pull gloves on and spell the rat clean. I’m being precautious. Bunce picks up the rat from the box and holds it still. I press the needle into the rat’s flank. It lets out a squeak. I slowly press down on the syringe until most of the potion has been injected into the rat. I don’t want to overdo it, and we still need more of the potion to reverse the charm. 

Penelope sets the rat back in the box and spells it closed. We clean up the station and rearrange the books while we wait for the potion to take effect. Bunce takes out a pen and a notebook to write down our steps. She’s journaling the whole thing. I grab my bookbag and open my political science textbook. Miss Possibelf assigned us reading to do. 

After about 15 minutes, I hear a quiet _tick_. I look over to the box. 

The rat has transformed entirely. It’s claws are much bigger and the fur is white instead of a dusty grey. It’s front teeth are like fangs and its eyes are red. The body shape looks more like a cat, which was unexpected.

I look over to Bunce. She’s smiling.“Well, we know it worked!” I hear a hiss and turn back to the rat. “Did it just hiss at us?”

“I’m not sure. But I do think we should reverse it now. We know it worked, but we don't know if it will reverse.”

“Yeah, I agree. Can I do it this time? I like doing this stuff,” She grins at me. I roll my eyes and hand her the syringe and needle.


	6. It Woked!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baz and Simon find some textbooks about werewolves. Baz makes a potion that will help Simon with his transformations. Baz doesn' think he can keep his feelings from Simon any longer....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to my bestie @julestych1 (probably not her username on this ut it is on Wattpad!) for helping me write this chapter! Means so much to me! Enjoy guys! I really liked writing this even though it took me forever. Sorry for not posting sooner! :( xx Arianna

**Simon**

  
  


Penny left to see her family in Hounslow over an hour ago. She told me she wouldn’t be back until Sunday afternoon so that means I’m stuck with Baz for the weekend. 

“Don’t hurt him please, Simon,” She said to me before she left.

“I won’t. I promise,” I said. She looked doubtful when I replied. That was over an hour ago, before dinner.  _ Dinner _ . Merlin, I’m hungry. 

I speed walk down the paths to the Weeping Tower, my stomach growling with each step. I think about spelling myself there, but chances are, I’ll end up messing up the spell and putting myself in a coma. 

I push the doors to the dining room open, greeted by the smell of roasted chicken, sweet potatoes and sausages. My stomach rumbles so I head to the buffet line. I grab five scones and a butter dish and head to my table. 

I shovel in my diner, eager to get seconds. I glance up at Baz’s table. He’s not there. I scan my eyes across the room, looking for any sign of ebony black hair. I give up on trying to look for him; I know he’s not here. Where is he then? 

My food forgotten, I get up and leave the dining room.  _ Where is he _ ? He could be plotting for all I know. He could be looking for spells for my transformations, a voice in the back of my head whispers. He  _ did _ say he would help. But he could have been lying. I decide he’s making more potions so I head to professor Benedict's class. He’s not there. 

I check our room. Empty. The pitch. Empty. The ramparts. Solemn. What about the library? I trot down to the Library building, hoping Baz is there. I swing the door open, and there he is. Sitting in between the stacks, books piled around him. 

He looks up as the door slams shut behind me. I get a nasty glare from Mrs. Poon, the school’s librarian. I mouth a  _ sorry _ to her and make my way to Baz. I nearly trip over a chair, which earns me another glare. Baz rolls his eyes at my clumsiness. 

“Baz,” he raises an eyebrow.

“Snow,” he greets, lowering his back down to the book in his lap. I stand there for an awkward second, rocking back on my feet. I look down to see what he’s reading, angling my head to read the page. I see the word  _ werewolves _ . He’s doing research on werewolves.  _ For me _ . My cheeks warm and my belly does a little flip. “Not stuffing yourself tonight?” Baz says dryly, pulling me from my funk. 

“Oh, er- uh. I was, uh-” I swallow. I can’t tell him I was looking for him. His brow hitches higher than I thought possible. “I- I forgot my book!” I blurt. I hear someone hiss a  _ shhh _ at me so I shut my mouth. I pull at my hair, trying to cover my rosy cheeks. He squints but drops his head back down to the book. 

I drop down beside him, my shoulder lightly brushing his. I feel him tense. I grab the book out of his hands. He snatches it back from me. 

“What?!” I say. I try to reach for it, but he pulls away from me. If we keep at it, I’ll end up on top of him, and  _ that _ will be embarrassing for both of us, I think. 

He grabs a book from one of the piles and shoves it into my arms. “Here! Make yourself useful, you menace. I’m reading this one,” I roll my eyes and back away from him. I open the book to the first page. I see Baz scribble something on a piece of paper. 

I point to a word in the book I’m reading. “What does this mean?” I ask him. He rolls his eyes.

“ Metamorphose?” He drawls. “It means to change completely. Like transformation. How do you not know this? You’re seventeen for Crowley’s sake,” he shakes his head at me like he’s exasperated. 

“Well, I’m sorry. I can’t think on an empty stomach,” he huffs at my attempted sarcasm. And probably my hunger. My stomach growls, as if on cue. 

We spend two more hours before one of us speaks --I’m still on the first book that Baz gave to me when I came here. I’m pretty sure Baz is on his fourth-- Baz slams his book shut then immediately opens it back up. I watch as he writes something on a piece of paper, then turns to face me.

“I think I figured it out,” he says. His eyes are a bit wide and he’s smirking a bit. 

“What? Really? Wait. What?” He rolls his eyes.

“Bunce and I were experimenting with potions, but none of them seemed to work quite right. I think it’s because we were missing this,” he points to a page in his textbook. I skim over the page, my eyes landing on a potion formula. 

“Baz,” I say. “That’s a restricted text. How did you-?” He cuts me off with a shake of his head.

“Doesn’t matter. Snow, we need to make this potion. If it works, then we successfully made a potion to stop your transformations. Not permanently, but still,” he starts to collect the books sprawled out in front of us. 

What if this works!? Then I won’t have to worry about slaughtering children and Baz and I will go back to hating each other. But I don’t want to. I like knowing that Baz is here. With me. Not plotting or conspiring against the Mage with his family cult or whatever. I like Baz. 

Wait-  _ Do _ I like Baz?  _ Shit _ , am I gay? I can’t be. I mean, I liked Agatha. And…. Crikey. I’m fucking gay, aren’t I? I could be bisexual...right? Why did I have to realize my feelings now, of all times? Merlin and Morgana and Methuselah.

My cheeks flush a deep red when Baz blows a piece of his hair out of his face. It just flops in front of his eyes. I wonder what it would feel like if I could run my hands through his hair. I bet it would be soft. It definitely  _ looks _ soft.  _ Stop _ . Stop thinking about his hair when he obviously hates you.

His hands are preoccupied with a stack of books and his book bag. He looks down at me. I’m still on the floor. 

“Coming, Snow? Don’t you want to know if this potion is going to work?” He raises a brow and my cheeks flush further. _Stupid_ _feelings_. 

“Uh- yeah. I’ll just, uh- Um. Sure. Yeah, let’s go,” I mentally slap myself for being stupid. _Since when do I care what Baz thinks of me_? _Since_ _now_ , _you_ _twit_. Wow. Even my brain disses me. Rude.

  
  


We make our way to professor Benedict's class. Baz snuck out the forbidden book from the library along with a couple of other textbooks. All on the analogy of werewolves and transformation of magical creatures. Professor Benedict greats us at the door of his classroom.

“Don’t stay up too late boys, remember about curfew” he looks at Baz and me. “And clean your stations! I don’t want a mess in my class when I get here in the morning, you hear me Mr. Snow?” He points a finger at me. I see Baz smirking out of the corner of my eye.

“Yes sir. No mess. Got it,” I nod my head. He squints at me.

“I’ll make sure he cleans both our messes, sir,” Baz says all posh-like. I gape at him. He just smirks some more.

“Will do, Mr. Pitch.” he gives Baz a small smile, saving a glare for me. What did he step in this morning? I only messed up a formula on the first day of Charms Class, causing my potion to explode. I had to clean it up without magic. 

When he leaves, Baz makes his way to one of the lab stations. I plop down in a chair across from him. “It’s not my fault the potion went haywire! I swear it!”

“Then who’s fault must it have been, Snow?” I’m silent because he has a point. “You nearly set the whole class alight. And you ruined a whole lab station, which costs most of the school’s budget, mind you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it! It was my fault,” I’m laughing a bit, avoiding his eye contact though. “Merlin. You always have to make your point stand, don’t you.” I mumble. 

“I’m just stating the facts,” he says, drawing out his vowels. 

I huff. Baz strides over to the back of the class where all the potion books are stored. He lingers there for a moment before coming back with a book in his arm. He orders me to grab the potion bottles, syringes and needles. I grab a few safety goggles too. When I come back to the station, Baz has his wand out over a pot. Something is brewing inside it by the looks of it. Bubbles crackle and pop. One lands on his exposed wrist. He yanks his hand away, running it under cold water. I get up to see the burn. I take his wrist in my hand and grab my wand from my pocket. His skin is cool, but not too bad. The skin around the burn is turning a blackish colour.  _ Potions _ . So dangerous. 

“You’re not touching me with that,” he says, frowning. I roll my eyes.

‘Baz, relax. It’ll help,” I tap my wand to the burn, the black colour already spreading up his arm.  _ “ _ **_Get well soon!_ ** _ ” _ He pulls his arm away from me. “Better?” I ask. He nods, turning back to the brew. 

I grab the goggles and toss him a pair. He glares at them but puts them on. Fuck me. He even looks good with crappy goggles on. I look down at the small cauldron so I don’t have to look at Baz. He tells me to get the syringe prepared, which grosses me right out. What is he planning to do? Stab me with it? 

He must see the look on my face because he rolls his eyes and casts a spell. A rat appears in a glass box on the counter. He’s going to stab the poor animal! “I’m not stabbing that rat!” I say. “You monster! Don’t hurt the poor thing! It deserves to live, Baz and you’re just gonna kill it!” He rolls his eyes, grabbing the needle and syringe.

“You don’t have to watch when I do it. Crowley, I’m just testing,” He flips the pages of the forbidden textbook until he finds what he’s looking for. He digs around the cupboards a bit, obviously looking for an additive. “Fuck, where is it?”

“Where is what?” I ask. Is he looking for an element? I grab the formula sheet, checking off the ingredients we have. 

“The- wait,” He smacks his face and pulls out his wand. He murmurs something to himself and points it in the air, flicking his wrist. A video recording pops up in the air, showing a small red dot blinking at us with numbers counting the time. There is writing, saying  _ recording _ .

“Ohhh,” I whisper. He rolls his wrist and the image disappears. He shakes his head and turns back to the potion. He grabs a small potion vial, popping the cap. 

“Get over here and help me, you menace,” I get up from my seat and stand beside him. I realise that Baz calls me a menace very often and I smile a little to myself. “You have to pour this very carefully. Maybe I should pour-” 

“No! I can do it. Please?” He nods and looks down at the vial. I grab the handles of the miniature cauldron and tip it enough that a purple liquid pours out into the bottle. “Why do we need this? I thought we were injecting it into the rat.”

“So we can have the potion after it’s used. Did you ever listen during class? I wonder how you even passed potions class last year,”

“Hey! I had Penelope to help me! So mean,” I laugh a bit. I see a small curve of Baz's lips, showing a hint of a smile. My smile widens. I like making him laugh. 

“And by ‘help’ you mean ‘do all your homework and give you her potion once she was done’,” he’s almost properly grinning now. 

“No. I only made her do my homework. And only once did she give me her potion!”

“Right. Once.” He laughs and it’s everything. I laugh too, brushing my shoulder on his. He sets the vial down and grabs the glass rat box. I swallow and take a small step back. I really hate watching this. Baz cocks an eyebrow at me while he grabs the syringe. He dips it into the potion. I turn away. “Don’t puke on me. This is my favourite cloak,” I hear the smirk in his voice.

“I’m not. Just get it over with please,” I cover my mouth, just in case.

There’s only silence for a moment, then I hear a little squeak and my stomach lurches into my throat. I hear shuffling, probably Baz, and a quiet  _ clink _ of the syringe hitting the counter I assume. More shuffling again. 

“Alright, Snow?” I turn around, met by Baz facing me. He’s leaning against the lab station, with his arms crossed over his chest.

I run a hand over my face and pull at my curls. “Yeah,” I say. “Yeah, I just don’t like that stuff. It’s right disgusting, innit?” My eyes land on the needle. I shudder.    
  


Baz shrugs. “Not for me.”

“You’re just a demon. A powerful-demon-mage. You like killing animals with needles for experiments. Disgusting  _ and _ revolting.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “You could say that. But if I’m the powerful-demon-mage, that makes you a wimpy-numpty-mage.”

“Hey! I’m not a wimp!”

“Says the bloke who couldn’t hold his stomach over an injection,” he rolls his eyes.

“I never puked,” I say in my defence. I cross my arms too. 

“Nearly.”

“No. Not nearly,” it’s a lie, and he knows it. He rolls his eyes and turns away from me, ending the conversation. “Snow, if I were you, I would start cleaning our station now so there isn’t a big mess later.”

I grumble and walk over to my chair. “Do I really need to clean all this? It wasn’t even  _ my _ mess.”

“I go by my word, Snow. You’re cleaning.”

I groan and throw a notebook at him. He ducks out of the way just before it hits him in the face. The pillock. He deserves to be smacked in the face with a book. 

By the time I’m finished cleaning most of our station, I hear a soft tap. I turn to the glass box, not expecting the rat to look the same as before, and surely, I was right. It flicks its tail at the glass walls. I flap my hand out, calling for Baz. It whacks right into his stomach, an  _ oof _ escaping him. I mumble a sorry, not taking my eyes off the box. 

The rat looks nothing like a rat. It looks…. Like a….. A merewolf? A hobgoblin mixed with a merewolf. It’s back is hunched so much that I can see it’s little spine bones poking out. It’s face is mashed up making its nose look more like a dog snout. A _wolf's_ snout. It turned into a werewolf? A little rat werewolf. _A_ _were-rat_ , I think. 

“Crikey! That’s one messed up rat,” I say. “Blimey.”

“Hideous beast,” Baz agrees. 

“Well, we know the potion partially worked. Now what?”

Baz pulls out his wand ad points it at the were-rat. “ **_Sweet dreams!_ ** ” the rat falls to the ground, unconscious. He lifts the lid of the glass box and grabs the syringe. I wince as he sticks the needle into the rat’s flank. 

“Do I have to give myself an IV everyday if this works?” I say, covering my eyes with a hand, peeking through my fingers.

“No, you numpty. It has to be  _ consumed _ . Injecting the potion was just faster. You’ll only have to drink it every full moon. Not every day,” he pulls the needle out of the rat and places it in the sink. He spells it clean then washes it off. 

“Huh. I guess that’s better,” I say. He nods. “Should we clean up?”

He turns to me with a brow raised. “ _ We _ ?”

“Come on, Baz! I don’t want to clean everything by myself!” I glare down at the syringe. 

“Fine. I’ll help you.”

  
  


We clear off most of the station, leaving the glass box, a couple of books and the potion flask on the counter top. Baz is reading another werewolf book when I nudge him with my elbow. 

“What?” He hisses.

I point to the box. The rat is back to rat-form. It worked! It worked! “Baz! It worked! Look!” I grin so big my cheeks hurt. Surprised, he gets up and rushes over to the box. The rat is sniffing at the box corners. “Baz! You did it!” I’m so happy I could jump up and down. I could hug Baz even. Before my brain is processing what I’m doing, I’m out of my chair and wrapping my arms around Baz. He tenses but raises an eyebrow. I feel his arms slowly wrap around my shoulders and I give him a toothy grin. I swear I see his cheeks pink so I set my chin on his shoulder. “Thanks- er… Thank you. For, uh, helping me,” I say. I hold on to him for a moment longer then I let go of him and take a step back, pushing my fingers into my hair. “It means…. Uh, it means alot. Thanks.” 

“Don’t thank me,” he says. Well that sure is a way to ruin the mood. But he says it gently. Nicely. Weird. Very un-like Baz. A sweet, kind Baz. Never heard of him.

I bite down on my lip, trying to stop the flushing in my cheeks from deepening any further. If I can’t say thank you, then what am I supposed to do? He sees me expression and rolls his eyes. “Fine. You’re welcome.” I smile and spin around happily. 

“I can’t wait to tell Penny! She’ll be so excited!” I’m practically jumping up and down.

“Crowley, can you control yourself?” He rolls his eyes but he’s smiling a bit. My grin just widens.

“I’m just happy,” I say. “No need to be a prick about it.” I put my hands on my hips. Baz’s whole face turns red and he turns away. Does Baz….. does he like me? He couldn’t. That wouldn’t be possible. He’s hated me since we were kids! Nope. Not possible. 

He grabs the flask with the potion remains in it and flicks his wand in the air. The video recording pops up again, this time, the clock stopped and no words saying  _ recording _ . I grab some of the books off the counter and pass the other’s to him. He gras his cloak off one of the chairs, and swings it around his shoulders gracefully. It makes me want to roll my eyes, but I don’t. We walk over to the door of the classroom, I flick the lights off and Baz grabs the door, holding it open for him. So polite. He would  _ never _ hold the door open for me. But he is, so I’m going to cherish this moment. Just like when I hugged him earlier. And he kind of hugged me back. Cherishable. Baz would never hug me, and yet.

Baz isn’t even that bad. When you get ast the insults and sneers, he’s actually good company, which I never thought I’d ever say that, but I was convinced he was the enemy and I didn’t take the time to get to know my roommate. For six years we could have been friends. Or just, not-enemies. Or something. 

We head to our room, it’s past 9:00 (almost curfew), so we can just see the sun setting above the horizon. I look over to Baz. His face is cast with shadows but there are pink and oranges playing across his features from the sunset. This could be a very romantic scene, if it were one. (Which it definitely isn’t.) I could grab him and kiss him and tell him it would be alright. Very cliche. I could grab his hand. It’s hanging by his side. But I don't. I wouldn’t, not if he didn’t like me back. 

I don’t think Baz would ever like me back. I’m practically nothing compared to him. He’s powerful and strong and he plays football and he’s fucking smart. And what am I? A werewolf boy who barely passes his classes with the help from his best friend? I don’t think Baz would ever like me. It would be wrong, wouldn’t it? He would probably be disowned by his family and every other mage who’s depending on him to stop the war with the magickal creatures and vampires. Yeah, he doesn’t like me.

When we get to our room he heads to the bathroom, so I decide to change and just go to bed, no shower. Once my head hits my pillow, my stomach growls. Ugh, I forgot to eat dinner. Well, the rest of my dinner. Did Baz ever eat? Isn’t he hungry? I would be starving if I didn’t eat since lunch. I  _ am _ starving. I groan and roll out of my blankets. If I don’t eat now, I’ll be a wreck tomorrow morning at breakfast. Even  _ more _ of a wreck than usual. 

Baz comes out of the bathroom door in his pajamas. He looks over at me, raising an eyebrow.

“Baz, did you ever eat dinner?”

He turns away from me, setting his clothes in his hamper. He walks over to his bed, and sits on top of the covers, facing me. “No,” he says. “But I can wait until morning. Ulike you,” he eyes me. He can obviously tell I'm hungry. He rolls his eyes. “I’m not getting you food Snow, if that’s what you mean,” he pulls his covers up, over his legs and shuffles so his back it turns away from me. 

“No, I’m just wondering,” I mumble. He  _ hmms _ like he doesn’t believe me. I get up and grab my cloak. “I’m going to Ebb’s. Wanna come?” Why not offer? She’ll have food for me. And I can just stay in my room tonight. I might not come back to our room. “She’ll make us food. A second dinner?”

“I’m fine, Snow,” He doesn’t turn his head. I nod and walk over to the door. I look over my shoulder before I close the door.  _ Sleeping _ Baz. Merlin. 

  
  
  


**Baz**

Snow leaves, so I try to sleep. Except I can’t. Because I’m hungry. And Snow isn’t here. Why did I turn his offer down? I know why. Because if I went with him, I might have told him I love him. And what happens when I do tell him? He’ll turn me into the Mage and he’ll throw the most powerful mage out of Watford. My family will kick me out of the manor and I’ll have to live with aunt Fiona. I can’t tell Simon how I feel, so I have to distance myself. But how can I distance myself when he’s always there, waiting for me in our room, looking for me in the library, hugging me in classrooms. I can’t tell him. But I don’t think I can keep it from him any longer either. Crowley. 


	7. I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope finds out Baz likes Simon

**Penelope**

  
  


“You didn’t hurt him! Congratulations Simon. I never doubted you. Not one moment!” I’m being sarcastic and he knows it. I told him to not hurt Baz before I left, and surprisingly, he didn’t. 

He rolls his eyes and sits down at his desk. “Thanks Pen,” I sit beside him and watch our peers slip into their seats. “We did make progress when you were gone,” I raise an eyebrow at him and he blushes a bit. “Baz, uh. He made a potion that worked,” he digs around in his bag, showing me a flask. They did it! Without me? Dang. Well, they still did it. 

  
  


“Simon! You did it!” He immediately starts shushing me and a couple people turn to look, so I put my hand over my mouth. “We need to watch the recording after class. I can’t believe you guys did something! No offence, but that’s kind of hard to believe,” I’m smiling big and I know he knows I’m joking, but his cheeks pinken a bit more. Simon, blushing. Kind of a normal thing. But Simon, blushing while talking about Baz. That's new. Weird new. Interesting new. But new. 

“I can’t after class. I’m going to see Ebb. You’ll have to watch it with Baz,” he turns away from me and coughs a bit. 

“What’s wrong. I can practically smell you’re embarrassed. Or, hiding something? What is it?” He turns to me but doesn’t make eye contact. His voice is low. 

“Nothing Penny. I swear, nothing happened at all. Nothing,” his eyes are big and his hand gestures are what give his lie away. 

“Yes, nothing happened,” he shakes his head. “Simon! Oh my God! I can smell it all over you! Stop lying! Tell me, come on,” he shushes me again by putting a hand over my mouth. I lick it. It’s hot and sweaty. Probably shouldn’t have done that. He jerks his hand away and wipes it on his chest.

“Ew!” I laugh. “Fine. I’ll tell you,” he blushes again and I slap his arm. Something obviously happened. “I hugged Baz, okay?” I feel my eyes widen. That was it? Really? I burst into laughter. Oh, Simon. “What!? You’re scaring me.”

“Oh, Simon!” I hold my stomach. “That’s it? I thought you were going to say something like, oh, I don't know, that you kissed him or something,” if I thought he was blushing before, I was so wrong. His whole neck up is crimson. It makes me laugh harder. “You need to see your face! So red!” 

“Penny! No! I don't like Baz! No- I don't- Ew!” He’s so flustered. Classic Simon Snow. 

I raise an eyebrow and try to control my laughter. “Riiiight. I bet he liked it when you hugged him,” I waggle my eyebrows at him and he turns tomato red again. I laugh some more. “Seriously though Simon, your face is super red!”

He turns away and covers his face in his hands. “Yeah, yeah. Get it out,” I slap him and I see a hint of a smile play on his face. Too big of a smile. Too big of a mouth. Too much blood. Too much blushing. He’s so much. It’s what makes him fun. 

“I see that smile,” I say, poking him in a playful way. I’m sure if Agatha saw us she would have a fit. But she’s not in our class, and she and Simon aren’t together anymore. 

He swats my hand away. “Listen,” he points to the professor. He just walked in. 

“Oh, don’t fret. Class doesn’t start for another 3 minutes. I’ll go see Baz after. I have some questions about the potion. We’ll have to have a meeting about this as well,” I wonder how Baz managed to make the potion that actually controlled Simon’s transformations. There was none in the books in the library. Maybe I should have checked mine at home? He’s a Grimm-Pitch, so I’m not really surprised he found a formula. He could have just used the mechanics of a basic transformation spell, then experimented a bit. Spun his wes and all that. 

Simon blushes a bit and faces the front of the class. “Yeah. Yeah, of course,” there is definitely something up with him. 

  
  
  


**Baz**

  
  


Bunce grabs my sleeve in the hallway, pulling me to the side. 

“Watch it!” I say, yanking my arm back, rubbing at the cuff. She stretched it a bit, but nothing that magic can’t fix. 

“Tell me! How’d you do it?” Her hands are on her hips, which is surprising because she has books in her arms. She rolls her eyes when I don’t respond. “Merlin, you’re so thick, just like Simon. Honestly, the pair of you” she murmurs. “The potion Baz! Show me the recording! How did you do it? I couldn't find anything! How did you-!”

“Forbidden books. Ever heard of them, Bunce?” I walk along the side of the hallway, careful not to bump into any second or third years. Always to carefree. 

“Classic Basilton Pitch. Should’ve thought so. Anyways, show me the recording. I don’t have all day!”

“You do, actually-”

She’s giving me a death glare that says _ give me what i want or pay _ so I roll my eyes and lead her to the Courtyard fountain. She sits on the edge so I join her. I take my wand out and spin my wrist, casting the video recording. One might have said I  _ swiveled _ my wand, or  _ twirled _ it, but I’m not a fairy and I don’t think any Mage in their right mind would say that. Except for Trixie. She  _ is _ a pixie. 

Bunce shakes her head and murmurs something to herself. I look at the recording following along with what Snow and I were doing. Snow’s ack is turned away from the camera and I’m smirking while injecting the rat. Did I seriously look like that? Like I’m amused? I hope Bunce doesn’t notice it. She doesn’t. 

“Jeez Baz. The look on your face. You just like torturing animals for fun, huh? So messed up,” she shakes her head. I roll my eyes. At first I thought I read her completely wrong. But when am I wrong, in all honesty? Not frequently, that’s for sure. I’m not wrong. 

I look out at the buildings. The White Chapel. The small barn by the edge of the wall. The Cloisters. The Weeping Tower. All of it. It’s been here for as long as people can remember. The newest building - the Cloisters - was only built in the 1600s. Watford must have been paranoid when they started letting girls attend - all the windows are small glass panes and the building is long and only two and a half stories tall. All the girls who attend Watford stay in the Cloisters. We haven’t even built a new building for them, which is kinda sad when you think about it. And surprising. We get more and more girls every year. Some day there’s going to have to be a new building for the girls. 

I hear Bunce giggle then go silent. I look over at her and see that she has her mobile out, pointing it up at the sky. I look to where she’s pointing. It’s Simon. And me. Hugging. Crowley, I forgot about that part. I flail for my wand and quickly flick my wrist. The image disappears. Bunce looks over at me with a devilish grin on her face. One I’ve seen one too many times on Dev and Niall. I’m worried as to what she’ll do, but I flatten my expression and put on a show of sneering. She giggles again. 

“Baz. What was that! Simon just hugged you!” She says like it's not obvious. 

“Thanks for refreshing my memory, Bunce. I’d nearly forgotten,” I say coldly. She smiles and pokes me. “You shouldn’t have a mobile out. I don’t even know how you have one,” must be magicked. 

“Baz! Simon hugged you! I can see you blushing you know. You’re not as pale as you like to believe,” she’s smiling and I feel my cheeks pink. Crowley if she’s right, I’m done for. 

“I’m doing no such thing.”

“Sure Basil. Whatever you say. I won’t tell anyone you like him,” she gets up and turns toward the Weeping tower. 

“Lovely- wait. What did you just say?” I squint at her. She turns and dramatically pushes up her glasses and puts both hands on her book bag. 

“You like Simon. I’m not blind,” she wags her cat glasses with her fingers. 

“Never dream it,” I say under my breath. “I don’t like Snow.”

“Basil. Don’t fight it. It’s pretty damn obvious,” she gives me a soft smile. “Besides, I don’t think anybody noticed. You do a good job hiding it. I’m surprised I’d not noticed it easier. Would’ve said something to you,” she winks. I glare at her. How does she know?

“If you tell him, a single soul, I will end you Penelope Bunce. He can’t know. He’s convinced I hate him. Nothing will change that he hates me.”

“Oh you poor thing. You’re stupid to believe such lies. Believe what you will Basilton, I’ll see you in class,” she waves and I glare at her. She has to tell me she won’t tell him. I’m not sure why it’s so important, but if Snow finds out he’ll tell the whole school.

“Tell me you won’t tell him.”

“I’d never do that, Baz. You know that. That’s not me,” she gives me a reassuring look, and I believe her. She’s not one for gossip and telling secrets. 

I nod my head and tell her I’ll see her class. She smirks and practically skips away. I drag myself to my next class feeling drained and dead. 

I guess I was wrong about anybody finding out I love Snow. I was wrong.

Penelope Bunce. Why does she have to be so bloody observant all the time? My life is truly fucked, that’s for sure. 


	8. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baz and Simon both think they are going to tell eahother they like eachother. Penny is very good at teasing.

**Baz**

So Bunce knows I like Snow. But she said something that caught me off guard.  _ You’re stupid to believe such lies.  _ So does that mean Snow reciprocates my feelings? Does that mean he likes me? That he told Bunce that he liked me?

I should tell Simon, right? If Bunce is right, I should tell Simon I like him…. I should do it. I think I might. Bunce wouldn’t lie to me about something like that, she’s no Simon Snow. And if Snow hasn’t realised that I like him, then he really is every insult I’ve ever said to him (I would never think of Simon as any of the insults I’ve ever said to him). He may just be a bit oblivious. And if he is, then I might as well help him figure out his feelings, right? What could go wrong? I mean, plenty of things could go wrong, but I am pretty positive that he likes me. A bit. Would he have hugged me if he didn’t? No. He would've thought I was his enemy. And I’m not. Not really. Not anymore. At least that’s what it seems. I did help him voluntarily with getting a cure --or as close as a cure as you can get-- for his werewolf problem, and I would do it again and again. I would take a stab for him, and maybe he would for me too. 

So I should tell him. I’m going to. 

  
  
  


**Simon**

Penny keeps giving me these weird looks. And she keeps smiling at me. And, winking? What’s she on about? I know she went to talk to Baz after first block, and when she came back, that’s when the looks started appearing. 

I saw Baz in the hallway after the third block and Penny practically shoved me into him. She didn’t even excuse it for something so that means she did it on purpose… She also said I was staring at Baz and blushing…. Maybe it’s a full moon side effect? She said it wasn’t, and not that I would admit this to her, but I believe that. I know it’s not the full moon.

Though I have been feeling a bit odd. I ran into a wall today. Not even on purpose, I didn’t even see it, and I only ate half as many scones as usual at breakfast, which was surprising, even to me. Penny said that happens to girls when they’re on their menstrual cycle, that they feel sick and lose an appetite. I interrupted her because that is absolutely not what is happening to me and I never lose my appetite.    


Penny says Baz doesn’t hate me. And I don’t think I believe her 100% on that. I mean, Iguess it would make sense; he has been relatively nice to be the past few weeks. Maybe I do believe her. To a point, at least. 

I really don’t think I am capable of keeping my feelings from him. What if we end up in a room alone… together… I might not be able to keep myself from him. I might just kiss him if he gets too close. And what if he doesn’t like me back? What will happen then? I think I’ll disappear. Maybe just stay at Ebb’s and make Penny bring me my homework. Yeah, that should be plan B. My escape plan. 

  
  


**Penelope**

Simon’s been watching Baz all day and it’s physically painful to not do anything. These boys are in dire need of a push… together… maybe in the same room….

Hopefully the winks I’m giving Simon are enough to brighten his brain. I try to make a show of it everytime, but not too much to give Baz away to other students. I even shoved Simon into Baz, hoping one of them would say  _ something _ , which was my rough luck in the end. They both like each other and it’s not easy to keep this all a secret. I wish I had Agatha to talk to, but when she dumped Simon, she kind of dumped our friendship too.

I think Simon wants to admit that he likes Baz. He technically did, but I think he wants to admit it to  _ him _ . I’ve caught him a couple times staring at me like he wants to say something but never ends up doing it. I might have to spell him…. Honestly, the pair of them. 

Baz isn’t any better. He’s been ignoring Simon all day and Simon’s getting a bit jumpy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought Baz was plotting. I already told Baz I wouldn’t tell anyone that he obviously loves Simon, and I did kind of expose Simon to him, and I know he caught onto it. I’m sure Simon won’t be mad. He’s not like that with me, we’ve been through worse, so I would know. 

Anyways, I told the boys to meet in the hills at tea time, and hopefully I can get them to talk. I really only arranged this because a) I need to go over Baz’s concoction of a potion and it’s the full moon b) because I want to rewatch the video. 

I see Simon running up a hill toward me and I wave to him. He smiles and waves back, causing him to fall face first and roll half way down the hill. I laugh because that’s just another day of clumsy Simon, and I love those days. I see Baz in the distance. He looks like he’s laughing at Simon. I smile at that because Baz isn’t as opaque as he likes to believe. 

Because of Simon’s fall, Baz gets to me first and sits down across from me. Simon runs up the hill behind him and plops down right beside me, huffing and puffing. Baz rolls his eyes. He tries so hard to make it look like he hates Simon. How long has he been doing that?

“Okay, first we need to double check the potion. I have more questions. Where did you get the forbidden books? We don’t have any in the library,” I’m not wasting my time with these two. I plan on figuring out Simon’s potion and rewatching the magickal video. Also, we should be testing the potion more, and it probably won’t hurt if we test it on Simon. After all, it is Simon’s transformation potion. 

Simon pulls a small vial out of his satchel and lifts it up in the air for me to see. I take it from him. It’s small, barely any potion in it. I look up at Baz. He's digging around in his bag for something. He finds what he looks for then raises it in the air like Simon did. 

“So you do have more,” I say, taking the flask out of his hand. I give the small bottle back to Simon and pop the cap off the flask. I lift it to my nose and waft my hand over it. It smells. I make a face. Simon is watching me intensely and Baz is playing with the grass. He looks up every now and then. I tip the flask just enough for a drop to land on the grass. It lands in the dirt but doesn’t seep into the ground. Potions aren’t supposed to seep into anything that isn’t an organism. Usually a human or a mammal, they usually sit on the object it’s poured onto like a puddle, or a water bubble. It means the potion was well made. 

I pass my ring hand over the drop and it disappears. I lift the flask to my finger and Simon grabs my wrist.

“Dangerous. You could hurt yourself,” he’s right, but it’s nothing magic can’t fix.

“I’ll be fine, Simon. I have two magicians right beside me,” at that he lets go and Baz pulls his wand out of his sleeve. Simon does the same. 

I tip the flask and the potion pours itself over my index finger. It burns, but not like it’s burning my skin. Kind of like drinking vodka or just alcohol in general. The pain goes away after a moment and once the potion is absorbed into my skin, my finger looks hideous. Baz barks a laugh and Simon lifts his wand. I raise a hand to stop him from casting and pour the potion over my infected finger. It takes a second for the potion to catch, but eventually my index finger is normal. 

Baz did it. He might have just made a cure for diseases too, not just werewolves. It’s probably effective for wraiths and vampires too. He did it! I guess I see why Simon hugged him.

“Baz! You’re ingenious! How did you do it? Show me the book!” I hand him back the flask. He throws a book down and points to it. 

“You wanted answers. They’re in there,” Simon grabs it before I do and flips through the pages much too quickly. I’m afraid the pages might get ripped. He stops at a page and his face contorts with all sorts of emotion. 

“Wait. This one says ‘ _ able to bring back people of the dead _ ’. That’s not possible. No mage has ever accomplished that,” he looks up, his face washed with horror. I grab the book out of his hands and scan the page. 

“Simon, it says  _ temporarily _ . And that- Oh wait this is like a psychic ability! Simon, it’s only the ghost, not the human body,” psychics are the closest thing to a mage in the Normal world. The abilities are few, but psychics did inspire some very famous mages. Many spells are based on psychic abilities.

“So, that’s like cheating a Visiting? That’s stupid. Why would someone do that? Visitings are sacred. You don’t mess with them.”

“There are plenty of reasons someone would want to speak to the dead. I wouldn’t think of it as cheating the Visiting. More like-” I wave my hand, trying to find the best words. 

“To bypass the Visiting,” Baz speaks up. I nod. “Or, if you didn’t get a Visiting, that could be your chance to talk to the dead.” I nod again. 

Simon furrows his brow. “Oh, I guess that makes sense.”

I flip through more pages till I find the page Baz probably used. Ah, I see. He mixed two different formulas? Very dangerous. Classic Pitch. But that would mean he had to do hours of research and study of those two formulas. He really does care about Simon...

“Yes, Bunce. To answer that look on your face, I did mix two formulas. And yes, I did study them both before I did it.”

I shake my head, but I’m smiling. Yes, I admit it. I’m proud and happy and surprised. Simon’s eyes are bulging at me. “See Penelope! You  _ do _ have that look! Even  _ Baz _ agrees,” he’s grinning so big I have to turn away.

“Merlin, not this again,” last year Simon went on and on about me giving him a  _ look _ . It was almost as bad as him complaining about Baz. Even Agatha got so fed up with him she decided to side with him. At least I’m pretty sure that’s how it went.

“Oh yes. This again Penelope. Penny always gives me these looks and she always denies it,” he tells Baz. “She squints up her eyes but somehow her eyes are still so big. Sometimes she has this look in her eyes and wags her eyebrows and a devilish grin on her face,” Baz raises an eyebrow like he’s amused. I roll my eyes and smile a bit. He’s so in love. “She was doing it today! You remember Penny, right? Of course you do. We were talking about Ba-!” He stops himself before he can get out what we were talking about. We were talking about Baz. I let out a laugh and wink at Baz. His face pinkens. Simon’s is already a mess of red. I laugh some more which earns me an elbow from him in my side. Baz smirks. I think it’s time to tease them.

  
  


**Simon**

“I’m sorry Simon, I don’t think I remember,” Penelope taps her chin in show of her trying to recall when we were clearly talking about Baz. Back in first block. She so remembers, the little liar. 

I glare at her and she just shrugs. I can’t bring myself to look at Baz. To see his mesmerizingly grey eyes. I can;t. 

“Remind me. What were we talking about?”

“You remember,” I growl. She smirks. 

“Oh! Right! Now I remember! We were talking about Baz! And you were so embarrassed and you were blush-!” 

“Penny!” I smack my hand over her mouth. I can tell she’s grinning. 

“Now now,” Baz abides. The git. Bunce has got me curious. Why were you talking about me?” Posh twat. Complete arse. He’s smirking and my whole face is hot. 

Penny bites my finger and I yelp, pulling my hand away. It's a huge mistake because next she says, “because he likes to talk about your hair and your poshness.” 

“That’s quite enough.” I try to say it forcefully, but I’m too embarrassed. I don’t really want to deny anything because if I do, it’s an obvious lie. 

My hands are covering my face. I wish I wasn’t here. I bet Baz is having a field day with all this. I peak through my fingers to look at him. To my surprise his face is a stark shade of pink. He’s… blushing? Does that mean he likes me too? I’m petty sure he likes me. 

  
  
  


**Baz**

Simon Snow is a blushing mess. Penelope just exposed him. I’m surprised he didn’t get so mad that he stormed off. His head is in his hands and Bunce and I are quiet, not sure how to procede. 

I am now positive that Simon Snow is crushing on me. He didn’t even deny any of it. So that’s proof that he likes me. Crowley. Now what? 

My face is alarmingly red and my hands are sweating a bit. That only ever happened once, at my very first violin concert in primary school. A boy a grade above mine made fun of me for being so nervous. It never happened again after that. I told aunt Fiona after the concert and after that, I never heard another insult from him again. I never asked what she said to that boy. I was smart enough not to ask. 

Simon’s embarrassment is much too contagious and Bunce just winked at me. Crowely. I think I should tell Simon that I like him. It’s painfully obvious that he likes me back. I glare over at Bunce, hoping she gets the message of leaving. She raises her hands in defence and gets up. Simon peals his hands away from his face and looks up at Bunce. She reaches down for him and gives him a hug. I hear them murmuring something then she pulls back and gives him a soft smile which he returns. She waves and smiles at me too, giving me a wink at the last moment. I roll my eyes. 

When Bunce us gone I allow myself to look at Snow. He’s looking right at me and pink reaches his cheeks when I don’t break eye contact. 

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“It’s fine. She’s like that sometimes. She was like that second year when I liked Agatha,” I wince at Agatha’s name being mentioned. I should tell him. 

“Bunce isn’t very good at keeping secrets, is she?” I look out to the hills and breath in the fresh air. It’s nice to just sit out here with Simon. He’s calming now that we aren’t exactly enemies. 

“Yeah,” he laughs to himself. It makes me smile a bit. He notices, making his grin widen. “I like it when you smile,” he whispers. That makes me blush. 

“Simon.”

“You called me Simon!” He’s smiling so big. His eyes are sparkling. It’s blinding. If calling him  _ Simon _ makes him smile like that again, I’d do it every day. Crowley, Lucy Sailsbury gave birth to a blessing. “You never do that!” He looks like he’s going to hug me again. I wouldn’t mind if he did. 

I don’t want to insult this beautiful boy in front of me so I say, “Simon, I need to tell you something.” Gods help me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so im going to be gone for 2 weeks so no chapters for 2 weeks. Sucks for me... I have more work to do. I'll be gone probably where there is no wifi so that sucks. I was gonna add some more to this chapter but I am literally 20 minuts away from leaving my house to go on vacation..... Hope you enjoyed this atleast. And if there are typos, my bad. I dont have time to edit and go over the chapter.... 
> 
> Chapter question: Do you think Baz is going to tell Simon he likes him or vice-versa? 
> 
> Bye loves! Also, I wanted to post this on SImon's b-day, but i'm not gonna be able to :(


	9. Not So Confused Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He needs sleep, and when he wakes up, we’ll talk."
> 
> (short summary. Trying not to give too much away ;p)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter many of you have been anticipating!! I ask you, take a moment, go through the last chapter. Refresh your memory of what happens. When you have, put your phone down, shut you laptop closed, take a breath, go walk around your house and then come back to this.   
> Welcome back.   
> This chapter is pretty short. Now, lots happens, so be ready. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing this. 
> 
> When you are done this chapter, comment down below, and please tell me what you think will happen next. I'm currious.
> 
> :) IfSnowBazWereReal Xx

**Simon**

  
I swallow. Baz just said he needs to tell me something. It could be anything, for all I know. He could say that this whole thing is over and that we should go back to being enemies, but I just caught him smiling then made him blush so I don’t think he will say that. He could say that he wants to continue being friends. He could say that he’s sorry for being a jerk. He could say that he actually likes Agatha. He could say that he’s leaving the Wold of Mages, the most powerful mage, gone. He could say anything, so what should I prepare myself for?

“Simon,” he clears his throat. It’s painfully obvious that he’s nervous. I wish he wasn’t. Hearing my name makes me feel a bit better. “I liked helping you. And-” He doesn’t meet my eyes but I can tell his whole profile changes. Like he’s changed what he’s going to say. “Just ask when you need more of your potion. I can teach you how to make it so you can do it yourself instead of me,” he glances up at me then quickly back down. “Which is probably better for you anyways,” he mumbles. “Just wanted you to know.” Then he gets up and leaves. 

What just happened? Baz just… he just covered something up with telling me he would make more of my potion when I need more! What the heck! He was just about to tell me something! Seriously! Then he just left! Walked away like nothing happened! I feel my face get hot and my magic spurts a bit. I get itchy so I focus on my breathing. In _. You won’t explode.  _ Out _. You don’t have enough magic in you anymore.  _ In _. You have the perfect amount of magic.  _ Out _. Don’t worry. Feel your magic coursing through your veins. Feel it calming like the ocean does after a storm. Feel it in you. Feel you.  _

I stand up after a bit and grab Baz’s book he left and my bags. I spell the blanket and tea stuff away and stop back to the fortress. I think I need to talk to Penny, so I pull my phone out a message her quickly so I won’t get caught. She tells me to meet her at the Cloisters. 

  
When I get there, she pulls me into the building and races up to her room. I shouldn’t be in the girls dormitory and I tell her so. She waves her hand and spells me invisible, pushing her bedroom door open. I don’t step in right away. Where is Trixi? She would sure as hell turn me in. Penny notices and pulls me into her room, spelling me so the wards don’t kick me out. She’s so smart. 

“Tell me everything that happened. He just… Left?” She looks confused, I would be too. Heck, I  _ am _ still confused. 

“Yeah, he said that he liked, LIKED, helping me and then he  _ changed _ . Like, he was gonna say something but changed his mind so he said that when I need a refill on my potion, he’d do it. Penny you should have seen the look he was giving me. He wasn’t looking at me! And then he just left! Walked away like nothing happened! Who does that!” I’m pacing her room and she’s sitting on her bed watching me. My arms are thrown up in the air in exasperation and I keep trying to figure out what was wrong with Baz. He was going to say something, but what? It looked like it was going to be something important, something personal. I tell Penelope that.

“Simon, maybe he was going to tell you how he feels.”

“What do you mean?” I stop pacing her room and look at her. 

“Simon. Be honest with me, okay?” I nod. “Do you like Baz?” Yes. Why is that even a question? I like him so much. He’s so beautiful. Like, his eyes sparkle and his skin is almost pale, but not. It’s a light olive color. And it’s so pretty. His hair is so perfect, even when it’s in a mess when he wakes up in the morning. And I love watching him sleep, because he looks so peaceful and harmless. 

“Yeah- I mean yes. Yes.”

“Okay, Baz has acted differently around you now, right?”

“Yeah. He’s been so much nicer and sweet almost. I thought it was weird at first, but, not anymore.”

“Simon, how much do you like Baz?”

“Uh. Like, alot. I- I think I love him?” My voice is so quiet. It would be embarrassing if it were anyone else, but Penny is my best friend and I love her. “Penny, I would spend everyday with him. Every. Day. But- But he hates me. He doesn’t like me, Pen. He insults me and throws me around like I’m trash. We fight all the time and I hate it Penelope. I’m tired of fighting him! I just want him to be my friend,” I’m crying. My face is wet and I sit down next to Penelope on the bed. “He won’t ever want to be my friend though. I’m nothing. Nothing. Not nobody’s rosebud boy. Not anybody’s boy anymore. I’m just a rosebud nothing.” Penny looks so sad, then quite mad. 

“Simon Snow, is that how you think of yourself?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer before she continues. “Simon, Baz doesn’t hate you. I can see that. And if I can see it, you sure as hell can too. Simon, I’m sorry, but I don’t really think you were talking about Baz when you said he throws you sound like trash,” I shake my head. I wasn’t talking about Baz. I was talking about my fucking slob of a dad. He’s the one who treated me like shit. He hurt me when I was 12. He  _ abused _ me. He slapped me in the face… I couldn’t even  _ face _ Penelope or Ebb. I hid myself in our bathroom and Ebb had to spell me out. I wouldn’t let Baz look at me either. I let out a sob. “Simon, you are not trash at all. You are so amazing. You are my best friend. My family, Ebb’s family, and if you want, Baz can be your family too. Simon Snow you are not nothing. You are not a rosebud nothing. Your mother loved you so much, and I know you know that. Do you hear me?” I nod at my lap. “Look at me,” I do. “Do you  _ hear _ me?” I nod again and fall into her arms. “Simon, if you want Baz, you need to let him know. You can’t keep yourself from him and he can’t hide from you either. Okay? Do you want to go to Ebbs?” I nod and she pulls me up. Before she opens the door I grab her and pull her into a hug. 

“Thank you. What would I do without you?”

“You’d be so lost, Simon. Be glad I’m still here,” I laugh and she gives me a soft smile. She spells me invisible and opens the door.

  
  


When we make it to Ebb’s, I almost cry at the sight of her. I love her so much, and to be honest, I need my weekly Ebb. She’s always been there for me, so when I don’t go to see her often, I get jumpy and a bit snarky too, 

She guides me to the living area and sets me down in a comfy chair. I hear the bleats of the goats, and right after that, a smaller one settles at my legs. Ebb pulls a blanket over me and kisses the top of my forehead before she disappears with Penny. I hear them talking, but they’re too far away for me to catch onto anything. 

I need to talk to Baz. I know he’s hiding something from me, but I need to tell him how I feel. I hope he likes me back. If he doesn’t….

Ebb comes back to the room and hands me a glass of hot cocoa. “There you are, Simon. Do you want anything else?” I shake my head. “Your friend left,” she smiles at me and settles in her chair. 

“That’s okay. I just wanted to be home.” I say into my cup. 

“Do you want to talk about anything? You can talk to your aunty, puff, I’m here,” she calls me puff when I’m sad. I love it. She makes me feel so welcome and happy. Even though I’ve got no mother anymore, she’s always made me feel loved. She technically is my mother when you think about it.

I shake my head no and she nods. She understands. I’ll talk when I’m ready. She leans back in her chair and closes her eyes. She won’t sleep, not when there is something to be talked about. She’ll rest, and she’ll listen to the goats and hum whatever song is stuck in her head. It’s peaceful, and after a while, I speak up. “I like him, Ebb.”

She doesn’t move. Ebb doesn’t care about people being gay or biselxual or lesbian or trans. “Does he like you?”

“I don’t know,” I frown and look away from her. “I don’t know,” I say again.

“Do you not know, or do you not want to know?”

I think for a moment. “I don’t think he hates me.” But what does that even mean? So what, he doesn’t hate me.

“Then there. If he doesn’t hate you, then what’s keeping you here? I see no goat farm attached to your legs.”

“Ebb, I don’t even know if he likes guys! He may not even be  _ gay _ ! I don’t even know if  _ I’m _ gay,” I mumble. 

“You like him, yes?”

“ _ Yeah _ .”

“So why does it matter if you put a title over your head?” I think about that for a moment. It doesn’t really matter, I guess. But don't you need to be something? 

“I don’t know, Ebb. It- It just  _ does _ . Why does someone like the color orange?” She opens her eyes and looks at me softly. Everything is soft with Ebb; her movements, her gestures, her words. She’s not like Penelope. Penny ‘s eye contact is so intense, she could win a staring contest 5 seconds in. Penny likes to tease and bother you, Ebb doesn’t. I tell her so, well, I tell her that Penny was teasing me today, and that she made Baz blush.

Ebb laughs a bit then seems to go back to our conversation before. “You don’t need to know weither your gay to know that you like someone, dear. Love is love. You chase after the man or woman you love because you love them. Nothing is standing between you and that door,” she nods over to the door. 

“But what i-”

“Simon, you said Basil was being nice to you, yes? And you said that he liked working  _ with _ you, not against? Penelope was giving you funny looks, and teasing both of you. So what does that mean to you, love?”

I don’t answer right away. Ebb deserves a good answer, and I always try to give her one. Baz was being nice to me and he did say that he liked working with me and it was obvious that he wasn’t being a complete pillock. So, he doesn’t- “He doesn’t hate me!” I jump up and almost trip over the goat at my feet. “Ebb! He might like me back! How did you know?”

She smiles. “Simon, where do you think Basilton goes when he’s not in your room all the time? He came to me once, and your friend Penelope is a smart one too,” she winks. “No wonder she was giving you those looks.”

Penny knew?! She didn’t tell me! “Penny knew!? You knew?! I have to go,” I step away from her and run towards the door.

“Where are you going, my child?” she calls after me.

“To find Baz! I need to talk to him!” After all, love is love. And I know for a fact that I love Baz. 

**  
Baz  
  
**

I hear my name being called. I know who it is. Simon Snow is calling my name after I ran away from him into the Wavering Wood. Yeah, great move Basilton. 

Currently, I’m sitting against a dead tree stump because honestly, it looked abandoned and lonely, and that was how I was feeling so I decided to accompany it by telling it that the boy I’m in love with won’t ever like me, which tears then found my cheeks and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. I know Simon doesn’t like me, because how could he? I ran from him. I’m pathetic! The most powerful mage, running away from the love of his life. Pathetic is what that was. 

And now, here he is, calling my name, over and over again, all to get lost in the solemn trees around us. I don’t want him to find me, so maybe I won’t let him. I’ll walk away, I’ll climb a tree, I’ll wait in the forest ‘till dawn. I’ll hide in a bush for all I care. I do  _ not _ want to be by him right now. How can he even talk to me after I pulled something off like that? How can he even do this?

“Baz! Baz, please. I need to talk to you!” His voice is getting louder the closer he gets, and I will myself to get away.  _ Move _ . “Baz?”  _ move _ . “Baz, I really need to tell you something!”  _ move _ .

I jump up and run a couple yards deeper into the woods, putting a bit more distance between us. I stand with my back against a large tree trunk and spell myself silent. I hear my name being called, coming closer and closer. What if I don’t move? 

After a moment, I don’t hear my name being called anmore. I would think that Snow is looking for me, and found that his voice is useless, but this is a suspicious silence. A wrong silence. Something is wrong.

My observation is clarified when I hear a growl. It’s the full moon… Simon didn’t take his evening potion yet… Shit! 

I pull my wand out and jump out from behind the tree, not thinking first. This is the second time I’ve seen Snow as a werewolf, and he looks exactly the same as last time. He’s snarling and smashing himself against the trees, making one fall right down. He’s scatching at his head and bashes into another nearby tree. Someone is going to think a rabid animal was released. I’m not sure that’s entirely wrong…

Simon smashes into another tree yet again, a howl escaping him. Animal instincts, I suppose. He notices me standing there with my wand drawn and lets out a nasty bark, then abruptly stops. He just- stops? He stops thrashing and growling and snarling. He stops fighting. He… sits? Like a dog. He’s just sitting there! Not doing anything! He’s in control? How? I look into his eyes, and there it is. It’s just Simon.

Just as soon as it started, he’s back up and growling up a storm. Showing off his canines. I can’t just stand here. I need to stop this. He needs his potion. This can’t happen again. He’s so carefree. Bunce knew it was the full moon today, after all, she  _ is _ Snow’s sidekick. She should be on top of this. It’s not hard to remind Simon to  _ take his potion _ three times a day on the full moon. 

I stand my ground and point my wand at him. Should I cast a sleeping spell on him, or maybe a paralyzing spell? Would those even work?

“ **_Stand your ground! U can’t touch this!_ ** ” I cast. Simon’s paws anchor to the earth. His front paws claw at the dirt around the paws magically stuck to the ground, with no avail. A barrier forms, I see it like wind hitting a wall. Could I cast a spell to reverse him to his human form? Probably not, but I could try. “ **_Back to the start!_ ** ” He thrashes his head in all directions and his front paws are starting to look normal again. The spell quickly wears off, so I cast a different spell, drawing my magic to my skin. I stand straighter and concentrate on the spell. “ **_It’s showtime! Don’t worry, be happy! Nonsense! Back to the start!_ ** ” Simon immediately calms down, shudders then whines. His fur retracts and his hands and feet come back. I fish out his potion from my bag and twist the cap off the flask. He needs this.

I rush over to him before my spells wear off and gently place the flask to his lips. I pour it into his mouth and he sags into me, his back straightens the slightest and his face becomes his own. His fur retaracts completely, his claws go away and his hair comes back. I see tears streaking down his cheeks and his eyes squeeze shut. He looks like he’s in pain. My heart aches for him. I pull the flask away and cap it, putting it back in my bag. 

“You’re okay,” I murmur. He falls to his knees and his arms wrap around me. “You’ll be okay,” he’s sobbing. His cries fill my ears and my heart breaks over again. He’s in so much pain because of this. “ **_Early to bed and early to rise!_ ** ” He falls limp in my arms and I pick him up, wedding style, carrying him back to our room before the drawbridge is down. He needs sleep, and when he wakes up, we’ll talk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that a cliffhanger?  
> I acctually has three different plans for this chapter, and funny enough, I didn't even follow any of them. Sometimes, you walk off the main path to take a detour and it happens to be a beautiful thing. 
> 
> So, was this what you were expecting? What do you think Baz told Ebb when she mentions this? Do you think Penny is this care-free when it comes to Simon transforming into a werewolf? What do you think will happen next?
> 
> If this wasn't the chapter you were hoping for, then stay tuned for the next one, becuase I promise you, everything in undercontroll. :)
> 
> Also, I was originaly planning to end this FIC two different ways. I have both ways planned out, and I kinda want to write both ways, then you can pick your ending, but I want to see what you guys think. I might just pick my second ending I chose, but I take bribes!


	10. Stop Ignoring Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Baz get in a fight and Baz ends up ignoring Simon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I have no I D E A what to name this chapter so it ended up as Stop Ignoring Me. Tell me a better chapter name and I'll change it. 
> 
> Yeah, I posted 3 days ago. Yeah I'm feeling pumped about these next few chapters!
> 
> Also, this has some sad moments... And i think I used the f word way too much, but suck it up...you were warned. This is also freaking short, so sorry not sorryyyy!
> 
> Peace -Ari <3

**Baz**

Simon ends up waking up at 2 in the morning. I’m sitting at my desk with my books and papers laid out in front of me when he groans and mumbles “Merlin, what time is it?” I don’t turn to look at him because I know that will strike up a conversation, even though Snow and I need to talk about his werewolfism (I know he still wants to talk to me about something else though). 

“Baz?” His voice is hoarse. I magick a cup into our room and cast  **_a glass and a half_ ** . I hear him gulping and my face heats up. I stay sitting at my desk, going back to my homework. “Baz,” he says again. Sternly. He sighs and I sit up straighter. Good, he’s getting angry. “Were you up all night because of me?” This stops me. Technically, I was. I couldn’t leave a were-boy in our room when he could turn into a werewolf at any second. But that wasn’t the reason. I wanted to make sure he was okay, so I stayed up and busied myself with homework so I wasn’t constantly watching him sleep, which I caught myself doing more than I’d like to admit. 

“Snow, you turned into a werewolf. I’m not about to fall asleep and have happy-go-lucky dreams when you could transfigure back into a werewolf in the middle of the night. I’m not a fool. I won’t be wasting my life for a pity mistake,” I make sure to put a little snark in it because I know he can’t see me sneer. 

“Huh. So you were up,” he says to himself. I glare at him. “Sorry, I guess.” He falls back onto his mattress and pulls to covers up over himself. Just like that, and he’s ignoring the elephant in the room.

I spin in my chair. “Are you serious?” 

“What?”

“You’re going back to sleep right after you turn into a werewolf, not even thinking about self-discipline about forgetting to take your potion  _ twice _ , that I helped you make  _ willingly _ , so that something like this wouldn’t happen. But of course, it does, and I’m stuck with  _ you _ .” I jab my finger at him for emphasis. He’s so careless, when is he going to learn to protect himself and others? 

He sits up. “Well I’m sorry you’re stuck with me Baz. Because guess what? I don’t want a roommate who’ll be a right arse to me everytime I make a mistake! Just for your information, I was talking to Penny, then I went home to Ebb and we were walking about you, Baz. It’s not my fault that I’m a werewolf. I didn’t  _ choose _ this! I didn’t choose to become a  _ monster _ ! Looks like you want me gone. I was a fool to ever thin-” He mumbles the end, so I don’t catch on to what he says. It takes me a moment to process what he said. My brain keeps going back to  _ we were talking about you. I was a fool to ever think… _ He was talking about me with Ebb. What did she say? What were they talking about? 

I’m just sitting in my desk chair, frozen. He huffs, bringing me back to the moment.

“Snow,” I try.

“No. No, Baz. You won’t listen to me, so why should I start listening to you? Just sod off.” He lays back down and turns away from me. He got me there. Why should he start listening to me? 

I turn back to my notes, trying to forget about our conversation. My thoughts are full of Simon. Simon sleeping in my arms. Simon transforming. Simon hugging me. Simon laughing. Simon crying in the catacombs. Simon yelling at me four minutes ago. Simon sleeping in my arms. Simon blushing yesterday afternoon (It is 1:00 am). After 10 minutes of a failed attempt of reviewing notes, I give up and head over to my bed. Snow is passed out once again and is snoring softly. His freckles and moles scattered on his back show constellation after constellation. His curls are sprawled across his pillow and his legs are tucked into his chest. I stand there for a while, just taking him in. He’s beautiful. A shame that I’ll never get to experience that beauty other than witness it. I sigh and bend down to his head. I gently press my lips onto his cheek, just a peck. Just a brush. He’s warm, and after a second, I pull away and climb into my bed. Simon Snow doesn’t want me. He made that clear 12 minutes ago. Simon Snow may have  _ wanted _ me, but not anymore. Why am I always such an arse? Why can’t I show him that I love him? How can he see that?  _ He can’t _ , a voice says.  _ You can’t have him, Basiltion. You never will. Don’t be a fool.  _ A tear slips down the side of my face and I don’t bother wiping it away. 

  
  


**Simon  
** ****

When I wake up Baz isn’t in the rm. I run the events of yesterday through my head. I yelled at him! Well now I’ve fucked this up. Baz probably thinks I hate him now. No! Fuck me Come on! How do I always manage to fuck things up!? I sulk around the room, get my class things together, brush my teeth, piss, do a couple more minutes of sulking, then head down to the dining room for breakfast. 

Penelope greets me with a plate of scones. I give her a weak smile and a thanks. I make a plate then head back to our table. I pick at my food, not even in the mood to eat my scones. Penny notices my strange behavior and slams her fork down on the table, making me jump. 

“What’s wrong? Something’s obviously up.”

“I yelled at Baz,” I say to my food. 

“What!?” She nearly yells. Students nearby turn their heads so Penelope lowers her voice. “Why? Simon, I thought you were going to talk to him after Ebb’s.”

“That was the plan… but I- I turned into a werewolf again.” I whisper-yell. 

Penny’s eyes go big and I brace myself for another yell. “What!?” There it is. People turn to look once again. “Simon! Did you not take the potion? When did it happen?”

I hold my hands up in reassurance. “I only took the morning douse. Baz ended up giving me my afternoon douse after. I went to find Baz to talk to him not long after you left. He was in the Wavering Woods and I ended up transforming then.”

She looks furious with me. Her hands are on her hips, even though she’s sitting. “When did you yell at Baz?”

“I woke up in our room late last night and Baz was up all night because of me and he said I need to be more careful and take my potion because he helped me make it so I wouldn’t turn into a werewolf and then I yelled at him because he was being a jerk. Then I went to bed and this morning I didn’t even get a chance to talk to him because he wasn’t in the room.”

“Simon!” She sighs. “Well, Baz does have a point. You do need to be more cautious on the full moon. Speaking of, take your potion now so you don’t have to do it later.”

I grab my potion out of my bag and lift it to my lips. My hands are quivering; I hate this part. I tip the bottle and I feel the potion run down my throat. It burns and itches. I gag, reaching for my milk. I finish it and go back to eating. Might as well eat now. I look up at Penny. She has a sympathetic look on her face. 

“You need to talk to Baz. The first chance you get, okay?” I nod. She  _ is _ right. I need to talk to him. I look over to Baz’s table. He catches my eye and sneers. I don’t glare at him or grit my teeth or growl (it’s become a hibbbit ever since my werewolfism). I just stare at him. When he looks away, his mate Niall catches my eyes. He smirks so I look away, blushing. “Sorry Si, but you look like a lovestruck teen.” She’s giggling at me. I blush and shake my head.

“I’m not entirely sure I’m not,” I say. She giggles a little more. 

  
  


I don’t see Baz for the rest of the day, and when I do, he’s ignoring me. He’s the last to enter the class and the first to leave. I don’t see him in the halls or in the Dining room at lunch or tea time. I’m getting antsy. My hands are fiddling with my pencil and my eyes are wild, looking for Baz. 

Penny asks if I’ve seen him and I just grumble. She doesn’t bother asking anything more. I can tell Penny’s looking for him too. She kept giving me updates throughout the day when she’d see me. 

I figure Baz isn’t anywhere so I join Penelope in the library to study for finals. She seems sad that I’m joining her. I know she wanted me to find him so we could talk. I wanted the same. I don’t like Baz ignoring me. I don’t want him to be mad. I want to talk things through with him, and the moment I see him, I will. I know he’ll be in our room tonight, so I’ll have the chance to talk to him then. I’m actually looking forward to it. I don’t know what to say, but when do I know what to say? Merlin, I just want to talk to him. To see him. GAHHH! 

I slam my hands on the table, making Penny jump. I give her a look that says sorry and I get up to pack my things.    
  


“Where are you going?”

“To my room. It’s already past dinner, Pen. Besides, Baz might be there.” She sighs and says okay. I tell her I’ll see her in the morning and I leave. 

I run all the way to my room and when I get to the top of the stairs, I take a minute to breathe. 

I push the door open and I’m met with Baz, walking out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. Baz! Finally! His football jersey is laying on the floor next to his duffle bag. I stand there for a moment then I drop all my bags and rush over to him. This prick! He ignored me all day! He didn’t even go to dinner or lunch. He didn’t look at me other than at breakfast. He didn’t  _ talk _ to me. It bothered the crap out of me! I missed him (not that I would ever admit that). I can’t believe he tried to ignore me!

I grab his face with my hands and press my lips into his. I run my fingers through his hair, it’s still wet, so it slips right through my fingers. My hands find his jaw and his neck where I can feel his jaw bone moving. He’s warm underneath my touch and I end up sighing onto his lips. 

I don’t realise what I’m doing until after I’ve done it. I pull away so quickly that I’m not sure I teleported. Shit! Fucking hell! Baz doesn’t like me! AH! I messed up! Fuck! Abort! Abort! LEAVE, my brain is screaming at me.

His eyes are wide and his face is red. I raise my hands and back away from him. I just kissed Baz! And I liked it… Shit! 

“Sorry! Oh Merlin! Fuck. Sorry! Oh God- Christ, I’m sorry. I- I should leave! Oh fuck. Sorry!” I spin on my heel and swing the door open. I hear Baz call my name but I’m already flying down the stairs and heading to Ebb’s.

It’s almost past curfew and the drawbridge will be down soon, so once I get to Ebb’s, I have to stay until morning, which isn’t a problem. I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST KISSED BAZ! He didn’t even kiss me back! He doesn’t like me! Fuck me! How do I always manage to fuck things up? 

Tears stream down my face as I run to the Hills, they don’t stop when I get to the barn nor do they stop when Ebb answers and ushers me in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The FIC is almost done! Thank you to all of you who have been reading this! Lets have a big thanks (Yes i am doing this now) to @bumblebeerb on Wattpad for recomending this FIC idea! You can find her on istagram at @ebb.the.goatherd and on Wattpad at @bumblebeerb!
> 
> If you guys want to recomend an idea to me or a fanfiction author (to maybe do a colab with) let me know! I would love to hear from you all becuase I honestly don't know what to do anymore! ;)
> 
> Qeustion for this chapter: What do you think will happen next?


	11. I'll Show Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon is ignoring Baz still. Baz decides to seek for some help.

**Baz**

Simon hasn’t talked to me all week. He hasn’t been in our room, and when I went to Ebb’s yesterday afternoon, she said he didn’t want to see me, not indicating that he was there. This morning, his toothbrush wasn’t in our bathroom and his wardrobe was mostly empty. His bed hasn’t been touched since last Thursday, which was when he kissed me and ran off. 

What is wrong with us? It’s obvious we both like each other. Why is it so hard for us to talk to each other? To tell eachother how we’re feeling? I know now that the reason Simon was looking for me in the Wood was because he wanted to tell me he liked me. Penny told me that he may or may not like me two days ago. It was obvious she was lying and that he does like me. 

His bags are gone. His clothes aren’t on the floor. There is no trace of him, other than his messy, untouched bed and his desk chair, half pulled out. The window is no longer open in the morning, and I don’t fall asleep to the sounds of his breathing. I don’t fall asleep at all. 

I try to talk to him during class, which earns me looks from students, but he ignores me. I grabbed his wrist in the hall once and he spun around with his wand pointed in my face. He was glaring the whole time, but I saw the hurt, I saw the pain. I saw me. I know what he feels like because I felt that everyday I knew him, since year 2. I couldn’t have him then, and he thinks he can’t have me now. He needs to know he’s wrong, but he won’t let me talk to him. 

“Bunce!” I call. She’s got books piled in her arms, her bag nearly overflowing.

“Basil,” she greets. 

“Where’s Snow?”

She sighs. “Baz, look. I’m sorry, but he doesn’t want to talk-”

“I know. But I need him to  _ know _ . He doesn’t have to talk, but I  _ need _ to tell him how  _ I _ feel.”

“Baz, I- I don’t know what to say. He thinks you hate him. He says he messed up. He told me what happened,” she looks sympathetic.

“No. I messed up. I didn’t kiss him back. He’s taking it out on himself,” my hands ball up into firsts at my sides. “What do I do?”

“I. Just, talk to him. I know you said you tried, but really, talk to him. Corner him, spell him, put him in a bag and lock him in a classroom. He just. He needs to know, and I’m not one to tell him for you,” she gives me a sad smile. “If you can’t talk to him, show him, Baz. He needs to see, so show him.”

“But I am! He just doesn’t want to talk to me!” I throw my hands up in the air.

“No,” she says sternly. “ _ Show _ him. You love him, yes? Don’t tell him. Show him, Baz.”

“How? How am I supposed to do that?”

“I can’t tell you that. You’re smart Baz, you can figure it out. Show him how you feel. Start there.” I nod and she gives me one last smile before she turns and walks to her next class. 

Show him, keeps running through my brain for the rest of the day. At dinner, Dev and Niall don’t even try to strike up a conversation with me. Good men. Football practice is the same. It runs by quickly and as soon as it’s over, I head to the hills to talk to Ebb again.

  
  


“Mr. Pitch!” She smiles when she sees me. “How are ya, love? Come in, come in,” I follow her into a cozy sitting area, nothing like the manor at home. It’s small and all the chairs look plush and comfy. There is a thin coffee table in the shape of a staff, made only to hold glasses and mugs. There are nice victorian rugs on the floor. Daphane would ask where Ebb got them, I for one, don’t.

I smile. “I’m doing well, thank you. How about yourself?” I sit in a chair with my hands folded in my lap. I know how to be polite, and I can show it.

“Oh, fine. How’d football go? Well, I assume?”

“Yes, indeed. We have a game this weekend. Will you be attending?”

“Better believe it. I’ll be wearing all of our pride. You’ll find me,” she winks. Ebb always comes to our games when she’s able, which is most of the time. She also goes to the lacrosse games too. Snow goes with her to cheer on Wellbelove. 

I clear my throat. “Is Snow here? I’ve been meaning to talk to him, but he’s been ignoring me,” she frowns. 

“Sorry, love. He’s at the library I believe, with Miss Penelope,” after a moment she says, “He’s confused, Basil. He doesn’t want to hurt you.”

“I know. I wish he was okay. I just want to talk to him but he won’t let me.”

“Yes. He doesn’t know what to feel. He likes you, but he doesn’t know if you like him back. It’s not easy for me to watch.” She wipes her eyes.

“I do, though. I really do. Ebb, I’ve loved him for so long! I don’t know what to do to make him understand,” tears are forming in my eyes and my throat is clogging up. I just want him to know.

“Darling. Let him know a different way. Other than telling him,” a pause. “I can tell him you came by to see him, but I don’t think he’ll go after you.”

“I just want him to know,” I sob. I wipe my face and Ebb comes to sit beside me. She wraps her arm around my shoulders and pulls me into her side. 

“I know,” she whispers. I think she’s crying too.   
  


“5 years, Ebb. I want him so bad.” My voice is hicuppy.

“I know.”

“He thinks he can’t have me, but I’m here,” tears stream down my face but I don’t wipe them.

“Basil.”

“He can have me. I’ll give myself to him. I just want him to know,” the last part comes out as a whisper. She sits at my side, rubbing my arm. She doesn’t tell me to stop crying or to brighten up. She doesn’t hold my face like my mother used to and kiss my tears away. She sits and she cries too. It’s comforting. Simon’s lucky to have her.   
I wipe my face with my hand and sniff. Ebb lets go of me and smiles, sadly. 

“You tell him. Tell my boy. He’ll believe you when he’s ready. Don’t you stop, Basil. You show him until he believes. He’s lost, you help him find his way,” I stare into her eyes. Blue. Like Simon’s. But not like Snow’s at all. Her’s are happy. You look into them and feel like the whole world is on your side. Her eyes are a perfect spring sky, her yellow hair brings out the navy specs. Her eyes are delicate. Simon’s blue is different. To say that his eyes were blue was like saying that the sun was yellow. Sufficient but not accurate to capture the burning. You see his eyes and you feel what he feels. Like you’re enchanted. 

I nod and get up. I thank her and she kisses my forehead before I leave. I need to find Simon. And if he doesn’t want to be found, then I’ll give him signs. I’ll bring Ebb scones to give to him. I’ll bring him flowers. I’ll cast a sonnet for him. I love him, and I’ll make him know. Somehow….

  
  


**Simon** **  
  
**

I’m ignoring Baz for his own good. I don’t deserve him. All I do is hurt him, and I don’t think I can live with that. So I’m ignoring him. 

It didn’t used to be like this. The first time we saw each other at the beginning of the year, we would get in a fight. It’s not like that anymore. I can’t keep hurting him for some petty excuse. I won’t go after him. I’ll keep my distance, and if that’s hurting him, then I may as well leave. If I can’t be who he wants me to be, I’ll leave. How can he even manage to like someone like me? A fraud. A fake. The boy whose father murdered his mother. Baz’s mother. My mother. A monster. How can he  _ love _ a monster? I’m wrong for him. Were-mage. I’m putting him at risk. I’m putting everyone at risk. He’s in danger because of  _ me _ . How can he love a  _ monster _ like me? How…? 

I’ll run away. I’ll hide from him. I’ll pack my bags and leave no trace of myself behind. I’ll leave Baz, even if it hurts us both. I can’t be with him. I don't know what I thought. 

Maybe he’ll learn to forgive me. Maybe he’ll understand. Maybe me leaving will mend the bruises I caused. I don’t want to hurt him. So I’ll leave if I have to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have a little angst... ish?   
> Don't worrY. We have like, one more chapter!!  
> Who's excited? I am!!
> 
> My whole story plot got mixed up, so I thought this was the 14th chapter.... heh. Same goes for Simon's Librarian Boy. That whole thing is effed up. Mood.
> 
> I'll see you in a few days!!


	12. Never Stop Loving

**Baz**

Simon isn’t in our room when I’m there, but I know he’s been there. Small things give it away, the type of things only a stupidly in love person would notice. A pencil on his desk is gone. His wardrobe door is open a crack. The tiny droplets of water in the sink (I always make sure it’s completely dry before I leave). The window was open yesterday when I came back from football practice. The potion bottle that I left for him was gone this morning. 

I know he’s been here, I just haven’t caught him yet. I’m starting to believe I never will. I come back to the room right after lessons and I stay until dinner time or until football practice. Sometimes I need to leave the room, usually I am at the library or in the potions chambers. I keep an eye out for him during the day. He still shows up to classes, but I’m not able to talk to him. We aren’t paired, we aren’t placed close to each other, we aren’t in groups together. I think he may have talked to the professors about it since we have zero communication in lessons. 

At dinner, he’s not seated with Bunce at their table. I keep looking around the dining room to see if he’ll show up, but he never does. I have a game tonight, maybe he’ll show up. He always did. Every single practice, every single game. Even if Bunce didn’t go with him, he always came. Sometimes with Ebb. Sometimes just by himself. Maybe he’ll be there, and if he is, I’ll talk to him.

  
  


Simon does show up to our game. He’s sitting beside Ebb on the stands. She waves when she sees me looking, I wave back to her. Simon isn’t watching me when I glance his way, but I do end up catching his eye. He holds it for a moment before getting up and leaving to the wood. I’m distracted so it gives the other team’s forward a chance to pass me. I catch up to him and block his shot, even though I’m not defence. 

After the game, coach Mac waves us in for a brief congrats on winning then we’re dismissed to the showers. I skip the showers and head for the Wavering Wood.    
  


I call Snow by his full name, which I never do. I use finding spells and the wood nymphs come out to tell me he’s nowhere I can find him. 

“So he’s hiding,” I say.

“Perhaps. Maybe you’re just not looking in the right place,” her sisters stand behind her with their heads poking out. They know who I am.

“Are you accusing me of lack of perception? I’m no fool.”

“What do you seek, young Pitch,” if there’s one thing I learn about wood nymphs is that they are always asking what you are seeking. Not what you have sought. 

  
I leave the Wood. I’m gross from football and in dire need of a shower. It’s almost dusk, the drawbridge will be down soon. Snow wasn’t in the Wood, so he’s probably either a) with Ebb, b) in the catacombs, which I’m just thinking of this now, c) with Bunce, d) in the Hills Beyond the school (yes that is the proper name), e) somewhere in the castle, f) in our room, which is less likely, g) the ramparts or h) wandering the school grounds. He could be anywhere for all I know, which is why I’m going back to my room. 

I climb the four and a half flights of stairs to our room, pausing at our door to catch my breath. I don’t really need to, I just want to. 

I push the door open, walking straight to my desk. I drop my football bag on the floor and begin to peel off my cleats. I spell them clean then pull off my jersey so I’m left in my shorts, my chest and feet bare. I don’t look around the room, because I already know what’s there. Nothing. Not Simon, not his uniform scattered around, not his school bag. Just our vacant room. 

My jersey still reeks so I spell that clean too and get up to head for the bathroom. When I look up to grab at the handle, Simon Snow is standing right in the way. He doesn’t move when we make eye contact and neither do I. We’re standing there like fools, just staring at each other. Why is he here? Why now? Why not two weeks ago? My brain has crashed and all I can think is Simon Simon Simon Simon Simon Simon.

“Baz-” I don’t let him finish before I’m shoving him up against the bathroom door, both my hands on his neck and my lips on his. I make sure he knows I want him with the kiss. I push everything into it and when I pull away, he looks stunned.

“I like you too, you fucking git. Do you know what you put me through the past two weeks? Aliester fucking Crowley, Simon. I helped you because I’m in love with you! You’re as thick as it gets,” I lean into him and press my lips onto his once again. This time, his arms find my waist and my fingers tangle in his curls. 

“You called me Simon,” he murmurs on my lips, smiling. 

I shake my head. “Negative.”

He laughs and kisses me one last time before pulling away, looking sorrowful. My heart breaks for him. He won’t look me in the eye, so he’s forced to look down where our bodies are touching. 

I lift his chin with my finger, because I can do that now and I know he won’t stop me. “Hey. What’s wrong?” When he doesn’t answer I thud my forehead against his. “Talk to me.”

He shakes his head and bites his lip, finally giving in and looking at me. “I’m so sorry,” his eyes are full of tears but they don’t spill. “I shouldn’t’ve ignored you, Baz. I’m sorry for hurting you, even after all these years, it was wrong of me. If I could go back and change that, I would. But I can’t, so I’m sorry.” I don’t interrupt him while he’s speaking but I do wipe the stray tears that fall. 

“It’s okay, Simon. I was an arse to you first. It’s my fault.” We stand there for a long moment, just holding each other. 

“How can you like me? I’m a werewolf Baz. How can you stand a monster like me? I’m dangerous.” His voice breaks and I let go of him only to hold his face in my hands. His tears are at a constant flow. My heart aches. 

“No. Simon, I love you. I don’t care what you are. You’re no danger to me. That’s something we can control. I love you so much, Simon Snow,” I wipe a tear that falls with my thumb. “I love _who_ _you_ are, not what you’re made of. You could be a numpty, a dragon, a badger and I’d still love you.” He’s full on sobbing now and I pull him off the bathroom door into a hug. I rub his back and whisper soothing words into his ear. I hold him until he’s calm enough to talk if he wants. I hold him until his breathing is less hiccupy. 

_ “I love you too, Baz _ ,” he says it so meaningfully, that I know it’s true. “I don’t deserve you. After what I did.” He sniffs, tightening his hold on me, and I can all but imagine what his face looks like right now. 

“No, but you get me anyways,” I put a little humor into my words in hopes to lift his mood a bit, but I also want him to know that it’s true. I won’t leave him. “I won’t leave you. I love you,” I say it again. Those three words mean so much. I untangle myself from him but wrap one strong arm around his torso, the other holds his cheek. He leans into my touch and his eyes dip a bit. He turns his head to kiss my palm.

“I love you too,” he whispers, pulling his mouth away from my hand. His eyes are sparkling, some tears still escaping. He’s so beautiful. So lovely. So precious. So fragile. And I want him. Of course I do. 

He presses his lips into mine and his fingers are feathers, running down my cheek, stopping at my jaw. His lips are so warm and soft, so perfect and he melts right into me. The kisses are sweet and deep, meaningful. They’re full of love. They carry the words we can’t say. He pulls away and buts his head against mine then moves his hands to my neck, cradling it like a baby, and takes in a shuddering breath. “It’s okay,” I whisper. “We’re okay now.” I tilt my chin forwards the slightest so I can kiss his nose.    
  


I love this boy. To the ends of the Earth. I will never stop loving him. When my heart fails, I’ll still love him. Even his werewolf-ness. It makes him special. Unique. And I will never stop loving that. He’s so brave, so courageous, so strong. Much stronger than me. I see that in him. I see all the love in his eyes. All the love in him. His mother would be proud. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short but, did you love it!? I did! Woohooo! It's done!! Thanks to Riley, you can finder on instagram at @ebb.the.goatherd or on Wattpad at @bumblebeerb, for bringing this fic idea to me and helping me plan it out! This is all for her! A gift, one would say. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this! Please, leave a comment, tell me what your favorite mart of the fic was. Was it when Simon sprung a surprise hug on Baz? Was it the very first chapter? Was it when they went down to the catacombs to visit their mother's tombs? Tell me! I'd love to know!
> 
> Next fic, comming soon! Stay tuned!


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